


you and me against the world is nothing new

by Viola_Cantas



Series: Yanisleidy Roselle, The Coeurlfist [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward Spoilers, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Highlander Hyur (Final Fantasy XIV), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Mild Language, Minor Haurchefant Greystone/Warrior of Light, Mostly Canon Compliant, Multiple Warriors of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), POV Alternating, Slow Burn, also WoL is 17 shes baby, cw/tw in each chapter as they arrive, my friends found this fic, pray my friends do NOT find this fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:21:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24962935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viola_Cantas/pseuds/Viola_Cantas
Summary: Alphinaud is not sure he understands what the other Scions see in the strongwoman they've recruited to their cause. And Yanisleidy is not one to write people off before she's given them a chance.But with their companions scattered to the wind or worse, they will need to learn to lean on one another.They need each other, after all.
Relationships: Alphinaud Leveilleur/Warrior of Light
Series: Yanisleidy Roselle, The Coeurlfist [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984600
Comments: 93
Kudos: 56





	1. Weights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No CW/TWs for this chapter.

When he walked into the Rising Stones, Alphinaud didn’t need to be informed that their resident strongwoman had returned from her latest assignment.

The crowd was extremely telling.

The loudest voice was Hoary Boulder, cheering loudly and clapping. Coultenet leaned on him, shaking his head in disbelief. Thancred was similarly shaking his head, seated precariously on the edge of a table, and Yda’s voice cut through the chatter.

“Ooh, oh! Do Papalymo next!”

“Absolutely not!” The thaumaturge was quick in his riposte for… whatever was happening. Alphinaud did his best to push through the crowd without being too forceful and reeled at what he found.

Strongwoman was the right way to describe her. Yanisleidy was holding Tataru’s feet in the palm of her hand, keeping the small woman balanced as the Lalafell  _ juggled. _ The monk kept her focus on not dropping the small woman in her palm, but Alphinaud caught the way her eye flicked around the crowd, stopping on him for a moment.

“Ready to come down, Tataru?” Yanisleidy didn’t seem to be out of breath, but Tataru was starting to wobble of her own accord.

“I-I think so.” She caught the three items deftly, including the knife, and the monk was careful about grabbing Tataru’s collar as she was lowered to the ground. Thancred laughed and the Hoary Boulder let out another cheer.

“Was that difficult, Yani?” Tataru asked, moving back to her desk to put her items away.

“If holding a bowl of grapes is hard, then yeah. You weigh less than a sandbag I carried when I was 13.” The secretary’s mouth became an o shape, unable to mask her surprise.

“Who’s next?” Yda was appraising those in the small crowd. “Oh, lift Thancred next!”

“I can’t lift him the same way as Tataru, but I could probably haul him around like a sack for a while.”

“Have I no say in this!?” The self-proclaimed bard was standing now, threatening to leave. The two pugilists laughed.

“Fine then, do me next!” This time, insead of carrying her in one hand, the monk simply held out an arm, flexed at the elbow. Her bicep was taut as Yda grabbed it and slowly lifted her legs, hanging from the warrior of light’s arm. Though her eyes were hidden by her visor, the smaller woman was clearly impressed. Yanisleidy was much more taxed this time, eyes closed, breathing a steady rhythm. The feat brought more cheers from the crowd, and he gave an impressed clap.  _ There are matters to settle with Minfilia about the Crystal Braves, I shouldn’t dawdle any longer. _

No sooner had he summoned the motivation to leave did he feel Yda’s gaze fall on him.

“Alphinaud, you’re here! You should go next!” Yda’s feet connected with the ground and released her grip on the monk’s arm. Yanisleidy opened her eye and rotated her shoulder, stretching with a smile on her face.

“No, I couldn’t- I’m fine, Yda.”

“C’mon, Alphie,” He wrinkled his nose at the diminutive. “It’ll just be a second.”

A wall of faces turned to him, their eyes expectant.

“Don’t force him.” A few people turned to the warrior of light. “It’s not a big deal.”

She didn’t look disappointed in the slightest, but something didn’t feel right, being the naysayer in some good-natured fun.

“Well, perhaps I-” Yda was on him again before he could finish.

“You will?” He looked over her shoulder. Yanisleidy raised her green brow over her worn eyepatch at him and resumed stretching.

“Just for a moment, then I have important documents for the Antecedent.” Another cheer rose from the crowd and he found himself standing before the monk. He tried to ignore how she towered over him, a hard task as he looked up at her. She studied for him for a moment before finishing her stretches.

_ Let us be over with this childish endeavor.  _ “What’s your plan?”

“I’m thinkin’ you’re lighter than Yda, but taller than Tataru. So maybe you can sit on my shoulder. A happy medium.”

“A-are you certain that’s wise?” He was regretting this decision.

“I’ll be fine.” She paused, giving him a thorough once over, before dropping her voice. “You don’t have to do this, Alphinaud. I can charm the crowd with Tataru again if you’d prefer not to.”

It struck a chord with him, the gesture. Yanisleidy didn’t have to offer him another out, but she still did.

“It’ll be just a moment, won’t it? No harm, no foul.”

“No harm.” She smiled, a crooked expression.

She coached him on where to stand, kneeling for a moment so he could sit comfortably, with her forearm under his knees. Her shoulder was steady, so much so that he hardly noticed her shift to standing in one fluid movement. In his surprise, his fist found a home in the collar of her traditional garb.

“Wow!” “By the Twelve..” “Impressive.” She turned in place, showing them off to the crowd, doing a small jig while making grand gestures with her free arm. The faces around them whooped and laughed, and Yanisleidy laughed alongside them. It was an infectious sound, and he couldn’t help but crack a smile from where he sat on high. Though she moved around, he felt secure and relaxed his grip on her collar, waving to Tataru, who’d been furiously trying to get his attention for the better part of the minute. She clapped at that, laughing before returning to her desk.

A large hand clapped him on the back.

Alphinaud knew it wasn’t his intention, but Hoary was a large man and he wasn’t always aware of his own strength. The scholar lost his balance, falling forward and failing to grab anything to catch himself. The arm supporting him came out from below him, and he was certain the bruises he’d get would ache for suns.

The silence was deafening for the split second before a boisterous cheer rose from the assembled crowd. Not realizing he’d screwed his eyes shut, Alphinaud dared to open them. 

Solid, warm arms held his back and legs as he lay in Yanisleidy’s arms. She was smiling at him, a strained one full of unspoken apologies and something he couldn’t place. Unable to keep the color from his cheeks, he offered a nervous smile in return.

“I think that’s enough showing off for… a long time.” She put him down carefully, taking care to make sure Alphinaud had his footing before turning on a gil to shoot Hoary a stinging glare. He gathered his papers as the monk gave the knight a colorful earful, Coultenet laughing at his partner’s suffering.

His meeting with Minfilia ended up running long, what with the two of them hammering out which responsibilities would need to be shifted as his role within the Scions changed. He pushed the incident mostly from his mind until he walked out of the Solar, a familiar green-haired woman waiting by the door. She stirred when she saw the door open, offering him a smile, the tattoo beside her eye shifting.

“You alright? Hopefully I didn’t bruise your pride too much with that stunt. Or anything else, for that matter.” She absently straightened her garments as she spoke. He knew the canary yellow was a traditional color for her profession, but he couldn’t help but think it seemed garish.

“I’m sure my reputation will rebound within the sennight, but I must thank you for your quick actions.”

“I said you’d take no harm and I meant it.” He gave her a cursory chuckle, before recognizing she wasn’t laughing. Her concern was clear on her face, worry etched below her eyes.

“I appreciate it, Yanisleidy. Truly.” As he was about to excuse himself from the suddenly serious conversation, he remembered what the next task on his list was. “Do you have a free moment? There’s a matter I’d like to discuss without you about the Grand Company I’m organizing…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I have most of the other chapters for this work pre-written and will be posting them fairly regularly, so please check back often! As stated in the tags, each chapter will have a CW/TW section since some chapters are much heavier than others.  
> If you liked it, please let me know! I would love to hear your thoughts or feedback!


	2. Expectations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No CW/TWs for this chapter.

The looks she received were starting to get to her. It had looked so cute on the merchant's shelf, a broach made to look like a Doman dog breed whose name she'd promptly forgotten. Yanisleidy pinned down one of her new vest’s lapels with it, lest the damn thing flap around in a brawl.

But she was beginning to question her choice.

The only truly approving comment had come from Tataru, the angel.

"Absolutely adorable!" Her exclamations drew little attention, common as they were, and the two women discussed accessories at length. Yanisleidy's path was not one of comfort, so she’d take soft moments like this wherever she could.

Hardly surprising, her first negative associations were quick to arrive. A snort from Biggs, and deriding looks from passersby were duly noted, and an impish, mostly-joking remark from Haurchefant drew little blood. But an ominous sentiment from high Maelstrom command and a cutting comment from Papalymo had brought the criticism closer to home.

It made her feel like a child in rags again.

She hated it.

The only person who hadn't reacted was the lordling, Alphinaud. Whether he’d noticed it or not, she couldn't tell. To ask him or bring it up would show her insecurity. But that's what the whole thing was about, wasn't it? His opinion would come out at some point, asked for or not.

The young scholar had asked her to join him in recruiting Eorzeans for his newest endeavor, and lacking anything pressing with the Free Company, she agreed. Their trip around the city-states had ballooned out though. Due to an unforeseen series of events, she and Alphinaud were forced to make a detour to Coerthas before heading to Gridania. The journey back wasn’t tough, but it was long and cold, so they paused at the Northern border of the Black Shroud, deciding to rest for the night. Yanisleidy had spent many nights below this canopy, knew how to stoke the flames to keep the flora and fauna at bay until dawn, but the shadows of the forest seemed to set Alphinaud on edge.

“Have you ever camped in the Twelveswood?” She asked, laying out her bedroll against a stone for some sort of back support. “Or, maybe I should ask if you’ve ever camped before.”

A twig cracked behind him, and she watched him resist the urge to snap around to look. “If I’m to be honest, no, I’ve never camped. I cannot say the idea sits well with me, but you seem very confident in our safety.”

_ So formal.  _ The monk laughed, tossing a sachet of trail rations to him before opening up her own.

“It helps that I can overpower all these baddies with my eyes shut.” She flexed an arm. “And I’m a light sleeper; if anything gets within 100 yalms of us, I’ll be up and fighting in the blink of an eye.”

Alphinaud laughed, the glow of the fire illuminating his face. “That is very reassuring, Yanisleidy.” The way he said her name was very rigid. It made her nose twitch.

The two ate in silence for a while, listening to the sounds of the forest. Once she’d finished her meal, she began examining her equipment, starting with her katars, then her armor, removing pieces of it as she went. When she pulled the broach off her coat, she noticed her companion eyeing it on the pile.

Yanisleidy leaned back, the thin bedroll doing little to cushion the stone behind her. 

"You think it looks silly."

"Do you wish me to think otherwise?" Alphinaud wouldn't look at her, stifling a smirk. He simply stared into the flames.

She dropped her hands, along with the spiked shoulder guard she held, to her lap. "I don't wish for anything, Alphinaud. I just want to know what you think.”

His eyes snapped to her, and for a moment she saw something strange in them. It was gone in an instant. He looked lost for a moment before speaking.

“Then… Perhaps it is a little childish. But it suits you.” The scholar, usually so precise with his words, backpedalled instantly. “Not to say that you are childish- Not at all; you are just usually so carefree, it’s fitting is all I meant-”

It was her turn to laugh, a snickering giggle at his expense. His countenance soured, his thin lips now an even thinner line and the color on his cheeks obvious despite the lighting. She laughed loudly at his reaction, and he scoffed at her, turning away.

“I shall remember this the next time you ask me which color suits your scar best.”

“No! N-no, I-” She tried to force herself sober, her lungs fit to burst. “I wanted to hear your honest opinion, and I got it, it was just- you- it’s so rare to see you flustered. It’s cute.” It was her turn to put her foot in her mouth it seemed, as the boy turned from her again, scowling.  _ Right. Boys don’t like that. _

“Well,it’s getting rather late. We should rest now, lest we find the sun rising before we’ve slept a bell.”

“Right as always.” Yanisleidy pulled her bedroll away from the rock, laying it flat with a grin on her face. “Sleep well, Alphinaud.”

“... You as well, Yanisleidy.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very short chapter, but a kinda cute one! Yes, I incorporated the mameshiba neckerchief into this story, oops... This will get back on the rails next chapter, but this was the bit I wrote first that kicked off the rest of my 30k google doc, so I wanted to keep it in.  
> As before, thank you for reading!! I love to hear your thoughts on my writing!


	3. Burdens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW/TW: implied mention of attempted sexual assault

“At once, Lady Roselle.” The messenger from House Fortemps left them, and Yanisleidy snorted.

“Is something amusing?” Alphinaud looked up at her quizzically, a brow cocked. They began to walk, the journey back was a long one.

"This whole… ‘Lady Roselle, this. Mistress Roselle, that.’” She gestured wildly with her hands. “It's all kind of funny to me. Not at all like home."

He wrinkled his nose, smiling. "No? Did they not call you by your surname at home?”

She shrugged, glancing away. _Right. Nobles._ “Never.”

“What was your home like, Yanislei-" His tone was always so clinical, more so lately. That would have to change.

"That’s exactly what I mean. I thought we were friends here, Alphinaud.”

“We are.” The scholar countered, brow furrowed. She chuckled.

“Then call me Yani."

He looked away from her. "If it pleases you. What was home like, Yani?"

"I’m sure you’ve heard all the tales of Ala Mhigo, my experience was the same as everyone else’s. The city’s an Imperial nightmare. But growing up alone, I had to fight to keep food on the table. Sometimes literally. People didn’t ask the little urchin girl her forename, much less her surname.” She barked out a sarcastic laugh. “Didn’t have a surname for a long time anyway.”

“No surname?” Alphinaud looked as if she’d said she didn’t need to breathe. It unsettled her.

“No, I eh- I just never got one.” Yanisleidy scratched under the strap of her eyepatch, the flap raising slightly.

“What of your parents? Family?” He was caught up in his questions, but seemed to remember himself. “Pardon my manners, Yani- these are extremely personal questions. You don’t have to-”

“I don’t mind, Alphinaud. I think my mom was probably a uh… an escort?” He cocked his head before connecting the dots on what she meant. “But as soon as I could walk and talk, I was on the streets. Don’t really remember too much from before that.” The scholar beside her looked mortified, embarrassed to have even asked.

“So how did you acquire the name Roselle then? If you don’t mind my prying.”

“Well, this- it’s silly.” She cleared her throat. “I made it up when I first came to Ul’dah.”

“Did you really?” His eyes were wide as saucers, she was sure this sounded unreal to the young lord.

“Yeah. I-” She coughed. It was hard to stay on topic with his wide azure eyes watching her every word. “I remembered how much I liked seeing the flowers in the market when I was a child. I was put on the spot.”

“That’s surprising.” She nodded, shrugging. “And what did you do in Ala Mhigo? I believe I remember hearing you only became a monk after your time in Ul’dah as a pugilist.”

“Odd jobs, construction mostly. It was hard labor. I hauled supplies for the more skilled guys, and when I wasn't hauling stuff for the structures, it was supplies for the workers." She flexed jokingly, striking a silly pose. Alphinaud laughed, glancing away. It was a rare sight of him; he was usually so tightly wound, trying to be an adult in the room.

"You worked in construction? It certainly explains your.. musculature.” He earned a peal of laughter from her. “But certainly there were other jobs for a woman like you in the city?"

"For women, maybe, but most leads turned into… escorting. Besides, I started working when I was still a girl. The construction crew took me when I was 11 or 12. They were the only one's who'd give you your fair share as long as you could hold your own."

"Truly? Most would argue that’s too young to work such a grueling job, although certainly better than the alternative.” His platinum hair waved as he shook his head, shuddering. “I cannot fathom the strain it must have been."

"Like I said, had to eat somehow. I only did it ‘til I could save up enough to get smuggled the hell out of there."

"But then, just how long did you do that for?"

"The last couple of years ‘fore I came to Eorzea." She could practically see the gears turning between his ears.

"But that… But we were..." He shook his head, and she raised a brow at him, gold eye peering down at him. "How old are you, Yani?"

She snorted at his bluntness, but the question gave her pause. Did he really not know?

"I'm… a couple Moons short of 18 years."

Whatever Alphinaud had been expecting, that hadn’t been it.

"But that… you're only a year and a half older than I am." The monk couldn’t tell if that was a question or not.

"Which part is throwing you off? The scar,” She pointed to the line through her eye, “or the primal-slaying?"

"Neither." She chuckled at that, but sobered when she noticed how serious he looked.. "You just… seem so wise. You always seem to know exactly what to say. If I'm being honest, I'm a little envious of you, Yani." A heavy weight settled in the pit of her stomach.

It was her turn to look away, her voice small. "Why would you be envious of _me_?"

"Like I’ve said, you're always on the right foot of things-"

"That's not true." She hopped over a tree that had fallen in the path, offering a steady hand as the young lord scrambled over it carefully. "I might be many things to many people, but I wouldn't put wise up there. I rely on everyone around me to point me in the right direction, to guide my hands. I depended on the Scions to show me a path forward. And even now, in this war with the Dravanians and the madness in Ul'dah, I’m depending on you, Alphinaud."

For once, the young lord was speechless. His face was somber, almost ashen in the daylight.

"I… I can only hope your trust in me is not misplaced. There’s-" 

She stopped, kicking up a mote of dust. "It's not."

"Pardon?" He turned to her, confusion clear on his face.

"I know my trust in you isn't misplaced." She began walking again, closing her eyes and crossing her arms behind her head. She could hear him fall in step on her left side.

"And how do you know that?" His tone was accusatory, as if to ask _how dare you place faith in me_. 

"I just do." His footsteps sounded nearer, and she deigned to open her eye to see where exactly he was. He was much closer now, a look of contempt on his face as he studied her. His expression dropped the moment he noticed her watching him, but it was too late.

If she had to guess, the look wasn't _truly_ meant for her; though, if it was, she was certainly out of the loop. No, she had a feeling she knew what wretched feeling bloomed in his chest.

"You shouldn't try to keep things bottled up, Alphinaud."

If he wasn’t mad at her before, he was now.

"You think I'm withholding my emotions?" 

She dropped her arms, tucking her thumbs into her belt. "You are. You haven't talked about what happened back in Ul-"

"Because it never should have happened. There is little sense in discussing it."

"I think there is."

"Why?" He sounded incredulous. _Why am I making a scene over this?_

The little voice that’d begun cropping up in the back of her mind answered for her.

"Because I'm worried about you." She continued without looking at him. "You haven't said a word about it outside of that night. You've kept to yourself more; been more stoic, not in a good way. Even now, when I’ve got no judgement for you, you’re not being honest with me. So I ask you: do you want to talk, Alphinaud?" Each word was pointed, piercing, except his name. His name fell off her tongue more comfortably than it ever had before.

He was silent, and for a while, she took it as his answer. But within the bell, he spoke.

“We’ll discuss this once we’ve stopped for the night.”

“Fair enough.”

\---

If only things could be simple. The skies had opened up in the evening bells, dropping a downpour over them that eventually calmed to a steady drip. At first sign of rain she’d pulled out the drop cloth she kept and tossed it over her Sharlayan companion. Though he protested at first, his complaints were drowned out by the falling rain. When they arrived at the nearest settlement, they were both fairly soaked, though Alphinaud was a bit better off. His grimoire was safe, at least.

Due to the influx of adventurers and hunters seeking shelter from the rain, there was a line at the Innkeeper’s desk. 

“Alphinaud, can you handle getting us shelter? I wanna run and grab somethin’.” Alphinaud had begun wringing out his clothes best as he could while wearing them, but looked up at her request. He looked forlorn, his white hair now a wet grey plastered flat to his head, pushed out of his eyes.

“Of course. Is something the matter?”

“No, it’s nothing to worry about. I’ll be right back.” He nodded and she sprinted off, back into the rain.

Her errand took a moment, her wallet not too much lighter in the process but she struggled to get the items back to the inn undrenched.

She found Alphinaud about where she left him, albeit now with a room key. A single room key.

"The innkeeper said they're all booked up for the night. Some rooms are even doubled up with different groups."

"Well as long as you're not about to rifle through my things, I can't say I'll mind too much."

“I would never. Though I can’t help but wonder what you ran off to get. Care to share?” 

“Dry clothes. We’re both soaked to the bone, I figured it wouldn’t be _prudent_ for us to catch colds while there are primals to vanquish.” She rolled the r in prudent, doing her best impression of a posh noble, and grinned as he laughed. They made their way to the room, and, once inside, they each picked a corner to change.

“These damn boots have a ponze of water in them.” She cursed, turning them over into a basin.

Alphinaud spoke behind her. “Mine as well. Tataru did a great job with the stitching on this coat, but the quilted section absorbed so much water…”

“At least yours aren’t thigh boots.” The monk chastised, running a hand through her short green hair, trying to shake as much water out without ruining her side braids.

She heard a splash in the basin across the room before Alphinaud made a noise of indignance. “Mine _are_ thigh boots _as well!_ Are you finished changing yet?”

“Not yet… this top is… much harder to remove when… wet.” She struggled with her bandeau for an inordinate amount of time, but the young lord waited quietly after that.

When they were done, they sat at opposite ends of the room’s only bed, dining on standard fare soup in relative silence. He had removed the braid from his hair to let it dry, and the silver locks waved out behind him.

The warm commiseratory mood that had come about from escaping the rain had cooled to a somber one. She hadn't forgotten their agreement, and from the look on his face, neither had Alphinaud.

Yanisleidy waited for him to speak. When it became clear he wouldn’t, the monk broke the silence.

“Do you want me to ask questions? Or would you prefer we take turns-”

“Are you mocking me, Yanisleidy?” His eyes were trained on the bowl in his lap, but the words stung.

She tried her best to keep a level head, for both of their sakes. “Not at all. I just thought it might be easier this way.” She finished, putting her bowl on the ground.

The young man across from her sighed, pulling at the hem of his cheap linen shirt. It was several sizes too big for him, an oversight on her part. He put his own bowl aside. “I- I understand. My apologies for lashing out at you. This is… much more difficult than I ever expected.”

“Which part?” _The talking or the world saving?_

“All parts. Why did I think that I could unite Eorzea on my own? I was so foolish, so stupid to think that everything would be fixed simply because I willed it.”

“Your idea wasn’t stupid, Alphinaud.” Taking a break from navel gazing, he peered over to her, eyes a striking blue.

“It’s more than probable that all the Scions were slaughtered as a direct consequence of my actions, not to mention the countless others who have suffered by extension; you would know this full well, and still tell me that my actions weren’t ill-executed? Poorly planned with dire consequences?”

“All I said was that your idea was never stupid, Alphinaud.” She sat up, her legs crossed. “Your dream of a united Eorzea, where the city-states can work together to fight against crises without squabbling ‘til it’s too late? That’s one of the most noble ideas I’ve ever heard. It’s a vision of the future I’d be happy to fight for ‘til my dying breath. I think-”

“How can you say that, after what my actions have wrought? What _my_ Crystal Braves committed?”

The words flowed from her lips like water, unbidden. “Because I know you. I’ve seen how you are. If you think you’ve done wrong, you’re like to walk to the ends of the world to atone. You’re responsible and you’ve got a just heart. They’re great traits to see in men, and even better in a boy.” Before her eyes, his frustration transformed to a searing anger.

“You would call me boy, now of all times?” Alphinaud’s words were venomous, voice raised.

She raised her voice in kind. “I would call myself a girl as well, it’s not to insult-”

“You speak as though we are children, still-” He raised his voice higher, fire blazing in his eyes.

“Because that’s what we are, Alphinaud!” Her shout filled the room as she stood. A bang on the wall came as a warning, and she dropped her volume, words frantically leaving her lips. “It’s not just you, Alphinaud; I’m right there beside you. Strip away our talents, your prodigious intelligence and my penchant for fighting eikons, and what are we? Still pups in the eyes of gods and men alike. _Everything_ went wrong on that night in Ul’dah, I know. But to fall on your blade in grief and shame, when we still have so much time to make up for our shortcomings? ‘Twould be a waste.”

She just stood, catching her breath for a moment. The scholar simply stared at her, stunned into silence. 

Yanisleidy scrubbed her hands over her face, walking to the head of the bed to sit beside him.

“I believe in you, Alphinaud, truly. I just need you to believe in you too; don’t get bogged down by the past, look ahead.”

He was quiet. The young Elezen had pulled himself into a tight ball, holding the fabric of his sleeves in white-knuckled fists.

“Didn’t mean to take this space from you, my piece is done.” She reached behind her head to the leather tie that held her eyepatch in place, pulling it off to let it dry for the night. She wiped at her eye where it had been, blinking her unseeing eye a couple times to dispel the dampness.

“When it happened, I shook with my fury.” His voice was soft and hoarse, so soft Yani almost missed it. She turned, silently encouraging him.

“When I felt the blade at my neck, ‘twas a complete surprise. I was completely blindsided. And the more betrayed I felt, the more furious I became. Never have I seen a man half as self-assured as Yuyuhase was that night. The mere sight made my blood boil." 

She had no words for him, shaking her head with an exhale.

"They put me in chains. Stole my tome. I've never felt so… helpless." She waited for him to continue, but Alphinaud was silent. He’d curled up further, forehead on his arms, staring at the bed below. _A push, then._

"Pipin found you, didn't he?"

"Yes.” His speech was slower, as if the young scholar labored to punch out each word. “In the knick of time as well. One of the men, _my men_ thr-" She could hear his breath catch in his throat. It all felt horribly familiar. She _knew_ this feeling. "threatened to do s-something unspeakable. He threa-" Alphinaud stopped. Shaking. _Trembling_.

_If he means what I think…_

Her suspicions were all but confirmed by a single choked sob.

Her words came out a whisper. "I'll kill the bastards. They'll never lay as much as a finger on you."

He broke before her like a dam in the spring. The sound he made was soul wrenching, and Yanisleidy tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder. He crumpled into her touch, falling toward the monk. She moved closer, putting an arm around his small frame and he leaned further into her, sobs wracking his body. Yanisleidy pulled him close, hating how little she had to offer.

_I should have been there._

It was an unrealistic thought. She’d been in binds that night as well, still stunned by Nanamo’s terrifying collapse, small hands clawing at her throat. Her breath caught in her own at the memory.

But the knowledge was little comfort as Alphinaud cried his eyes out in her arms, the scholar making no effort to hold anything back. _It’s for the best_ , she thought, _best to not let it fester._ She forced her mind to focus on the boy in her arms. If she let her mind wander to the scum who’d put this fear in him, _or worse_ , to her own-

 _No._ She thought firmly. _You’re here for Alphinaud._

So she held him. 

At some point, she realized Alphinaud had balled his fists into the lower hem of her shirt, resting his head on her shoulder. His breathing was beginning to even, his cries more sparse. She knew his pride was fragile as he futilely tried to mask hiccups. The best she could do was knead small circles in his back.

Her sense of time was awful, so she didn’t dare try to guess how long they sat like that. When he moved to separate from her, she smoothed his hair down with a calloused hand. It was soft, much thinner than her own.

When he looked up at her, Yanisleidy’s heart ached again. Alphinaud, her _friend_. His eyes were puffy and red, streaks of dried tears on his cheeks. He looked away quickly, withdrawing to a polite distance.

“I’m sure you think me weak-” He started hoarsely, a sardonic laugh on his lips.

“I don’t.” She’d meant to whisper, but her words felt so loud. “You’re very strong, Alphinaud.” She entertained the idea of confiding in him, in solidarity, but perhaps it would be overwhelming. _To burden him now..._

“But I made such a mess of everything.” He pushed a hand into his hair, strands caught between his fingers. “And to make a scene now, when nothing even occurred- It’s pitiful, just-”

“I cried when it almost happened to me.” It was her turn to dodge his gaze. A gaze she could feel. “I cried for nights. Moons.”

His blue eyes burned like fire on her. But he was quiet. So she continued.

“It was just after I became a laborer. Some of the Imperial men.” She struggled to keep her breathing even and consistent, to keep her throat from constricting. “I only got away because an older kid stood up to them. They beat him bloody.”

“I… I’m sorry.”

“I say this not because I want you to feel bad,” She dared to look him in the eye, tears pricking at her own. “I just want you to know you’re not pitiful or weak. You’re not alone.”

He stared at her for a long moment. Alphinaud’s eyes, his large blue eyes, watched her with an unreadable expression.

When his arms wrapped firmly around her, it was all she could do to hold him just as tight.

\---

The following morning, she was up before him. Taking care not to wake him, Yanisleidy dressed and left on a short journey for better food than the poor excuse they’d had last night. But when she returned, sweet rolls in hand, the scholar was already dressed to leave. Alphinaud didn’t say anything right away, only acknowledging her entry with a look and a nod.

She wordlessly offered him a roll, taking a bite of her own. His eyes flickered between her and the offering, half hidden by his long bangs.

“Thank you. How did you sleep?”

She spoke through the sticky bun. “Well, you didn’t kick me in the night, so I’d say I slept alright.”

“Why I- Never in a thousand years!” His expression wrinkled, and she beamed back. 

“I’m just messin’.” She set about armoring up, taking care with the dog pin on her lapel. “How’d you fare? Not the best mattress you ever had, I’d bet.” 

Her attempt at humor fell flat, Alphinaud pausing his efforts to pack his things. His lips were a thin line.

“I slept well. A marked improvement to my rest as of late.” She saw him turn to her out of the corner of her good eye, and she froze, returning the gaze.

“I wanted to thank you properly, Yanisleidy-”

“Yani.” She finished shackling her shoulder pad on. “Call me Yani.”

“Yani.” He smirked before continuing. “You didn’t have to do any of the things you did last night,” He held up a hand as she opened her mouth to argue. “You didn’t _need_ to fret over me, or open yourself up in the process. But you did. And I cannot thank you enough. I had not realized I was hampering myself in such a way, and in doing so, hurting our efforts.” It was… somewhat detached, but it was a good step for him. “If there’s ever any way I can return the favor, please do not hesitate to ask.”   
“All I ask of you, Alphinaud, is to be honest with me. You do that, and I’ll always be upfront with you. Last thing we need is to be carrying our burdens alone.”

“Agreed, my friend. Thank you, Yani.”

“Anytime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!! This one took a bit longer because I'm doing some major event restructuring and I wanted to make sure none of those edits affected this chapter. This one is quite a bit longer, and heavier than the other two, but I promise there will be a payoff!  
> Also if my vague descriptions of Ala Mhigo are too vague it's because I haven't got to Stormblood yet, so no spoilers please!  
> Let me know what you think!


	4. Lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No CW/TWs for this chapter.

"I eh. Uh." The warrior of light coughed, eyeing the scroll the way most foes on the other end of her fists saw her. "Alphinaud, can you c’mere a moment?"

"Yanisleidy, is something amiss?"  _ Always so formal around others. _ She cleared her throat again, willing her voice quiet.

"Nothing  _ amiss _ , just… looking for a helping hand. My experience with Elezen names is limited, I thought you might be able to help me with-"

"Pronunciation?" He looked her dead in the eyes, one of those indecipherable looks. He was one of the smartest people she knew, of course he’d puzzled it out. She forced herself to look him in the eyes despite the hollowness in her stomach.

"And reading. Only if it's not a chore."

"It would be my pleasure." 

\---

In an effort to protect her pride from further tarnish, he raised the idea that they might excuse themselves and practice in another location, one where she would be unperturbed by listening ears. They agreed on the manor’s small garden, a quiet spot frequented mostly by the house gardener on account of the cold. While the scholar wasn’t particularly fond of Ishgard’s climate, the monk assured him the brisk air would be refreshing.

Even with his coat, Alphinaud shivered. Yani, however, didn’t seem to feel the wind, a thin jacket hastily thrown over her mostly-open blouse. She wasn’t even wearing gloves.

“I’m getting a chill just looking at you. You aren’t cold that way, Yani?” She grinned at him, a lopsided expression that made the faded tattoo beneath her good eye wrinkle.

“I’ve always run kind of hot. Feel it.” She covered the back of his hand with her palm, and he suppressed the urge to snatch his hand back. But she was right: even through the hide of his glove, he could feel a radiating heat. The two laughed about it, and Alphinaud tried to suppress whatever it was he had felt when she put her hand on his.

He walked her through some of the basics, which consonant-vowel combinations made which sounds generally. The abstraction seemed to make her head spin, so he moved them on to simply practicing with different names.

"Do you have a good understanding of saying Fortemps?"

“Yes, Fortemps and Durendaire. Durendaire is easy, and I’ve heard Fortemps enough to have an ear for it.” She wasn’t lying, her pronunciation spot on for each noble family.

He raised a brow. “So then?”

“This one.” She pointed at the parchment.

“Oh, Haillenarte.”  _ Certainly she’s heard this one before?  _ Regardless, she began.

“Haillenarte?”

“Try making the sound at the beginning a ‘hi’ rather than a ‘hey,’ and the ‘e’ at the end is silent.”

“Haillenarte.”

“That’s about the right of it, Yani.” She recited it a couple more times before he spoke again. “Were there others?” 

She pointed again.

“House Dzemael. At a slight risk of oversimplifying, just try to ignore the ‘d.’ The ‘z’ is the primary sound in Dzemael.”

“Dzemael.”

“Yes, but try not to overemphasize the first syllable.”

“The first what?”

“The first syll-” He turned to her, blinking. The description of her childhood echoed in his ears. He would never guilt her for it. “The first part of the name.”

“Oh. Like Dzemael?”

“Yes! Wonderful job, Yani.” She smiled at that, leaning back to pull her legs up to sit cross-legged. She put her elbows on her knees, and her chin on her palms, looking up at him.

They went on for a while, practicing the names of some of the lower houses. She made marked improvement, but an idea had struck him when they began that slowly pushed itself into the forefront of his thoughts. He willed it away, but little voices in his mind, logical ones, told him  _ she might need the practice _ and  _ you can never be too thorough. _ They backed up the illogical one that had planted the idea there in the first place.

"How about Leveilleur?" His own voice sounded foreign.

"That's…" She sat up and tilted her head. Brow raised, question unspoken, Yani obliged. 

"Leveilleur."

It was.. not quite right. But his surname had been the first one she'd been so close with since they started.

"Try pushing your jaw out a little for the final syl- sound. Leveilleur." He saw her looking away from him, a blush of embarrassment unhidden on her wind whipped face. But it did not deter her, she tried again.

"Leveilleur." She’d gotten it right that time. Perfect, actually. It would be a fine place to stop for the day.

He spoke without thinking. "You're doing very well. Once more, please."

"Leveilleur." The way Yanisleidy said it made his breath catch. Her voice was always a little raspy, though she spoke nearly as often as she didn't. Her tongue, thick with the shorter sentences of Ala Mhigan syntax, had a hard time adjusting to the flowing Elezen names they so commonly faced in Ishgard. It was work for her then, to pronounce his surname; her full lips twisted to sound out the word. His chest tightened watching her, in a way he couldn’t begin to identify. 

So lessons were done for the evening.

"You've got it down pat, my friend."

\---

"Leveilleur." His ears pricked up at the whispered mention of his surname. Their patrol was not far into the Western Highlands but the monk hadn't turned to him, so Alphinaud assumed he had imagined it.

But then he heard it again.

"Haillenarte. Dzemael. Leveilleur." She was still practicing the names. Her gaze scanned the white horizon for threats, but her lips traced the names in a ceaseless rotation.

"Are you worried, Yani?" It wasn’t like her to dwell on things. She was a forward-moving force.

"What d’ya mean?" She turned to face him, her red leather eyepatch stark in the bright snow-reflected sun.

"Are you worried you'll say something wrong?"

"No.” The Highlander looked conflicted before sighing. “Well. Maybe." 

"A gil for your thoughts?"

"Ha! They're hardly worth that." He frowned, but she continued. "Speaking's never been my strong suit. Reading even less so. Seeing parchments with flowing script makes my head spin in a way that spinnin' on a foe can't hold a candle to."

"Will you be needing more practice, then?" He leaned forward, tilting his head to get a better look at her face. The monk was a portrait of stoicism, green brows furrowed, lips twisted in conflict.

"If I do, it's my concern." Alphinaud could recognize the strategy: it was her way of dodging his true question. It said  _ yes, but I don't want you to worry about it. _ Yani wasn't usually so evasive about these things, it was a rare moment of misplaced ego for her.

He chose his words carefully. "We usually have free time in the evenings after supper. If you are unopposed to the prospect, I would be happy to help you practice." Alphinaud precisely specified what he offered; he didn’t want her to turn it down on principle.

"I… I'll think on it, Alphinaud." It was the best he could hope for.

\---

With a flare of her nostrils, the tall Hyur approached him for help that evening. In her hands, the neat, short script was unmistakable: it was a report from Tataru. It was a thorough document, detailing everything she’d found out since they entered the castle city. They went through it together, the monk doing her best to vocalize sections she needed assistance with.

A section about Alphinaud’s own findings gave her pause.

"Reading your name feels so different from saying it."

"Does it?" He chuckled, the sentiment surprising. 

"Saying Alphinaud," she lingered on the syllables in a way that squeezed his chest, "it feels comfortable. I've said your name a thousand times and I'll say it a thousand more." The monk did not let him linger on that statement, smacking the parchment in her left hand with the back of her right. 

"But reading it feels like I'm looking at a stranger's name. It feels like it takes me half a bell to realize I'm reading about you."

"Is it the spelling of my name that bothers you?" The question carried no malice, only curiosity. The monk retracted all the same.

"No, no! Your name is spelled fine. It's just… Well, it’s same as everything else on the page. It looks foreign."

"To be clear, consider that to you, it  _ is _ foreign." From his history lessons, he could remember that Ala Mhigo was never a particularly popular destination for Elezen settlement, even before occupation.

"Maybe, but your name shouldn't be foreign to me." The force and frankness of her words caught them both by surprise. He glanced up at Yani, and for a moment her orange eye reflected a seriousness she rarely directed at him. She glanced away quickly, however, the eye finding purchase on a fascinating scratch on the floor.

"That didn't come out right." The words came out as the closest thing he'd ever heard to a whimper from the warrior of light as she shoved a hand under her eyepatch, rubbing at the eye beneath. Alphinaud did his best to recover the situation, collecting himself quickly.

"Well, you just need to put a little more practice in, then. I'm certain I have another missive here somewhere we can… use?" He had found one. A letter to him from his sister.

He skimmed the letter, before pointedly folding it back up and tucking it back into his tome. That was a letter he  _ didn’t _ need Yani to see, where Alisaie chided him for speaking of the monk so highly in his last message. The letter was already scathing, last thing he needed was for the Highlander to think less of him.

“Alphinaud.” Her voice broke him from his search, and he looked up to see her warm gaze focused on him.

He tilted his head. “Yes?”

“Thank you for all of this.”

“Of course. What are friends for?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank's for stickin' with me folks! This is a short one, but I hope you liked it! Please let me know what you think in the comments, and have a wonderful day!


	5. Favors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No CW/TWs for this chapter.

Alphinaud looked up from his journal at the ruckus as the monk stumbled into the Fortemps manor. Yanisleidy was covered in a layer of sleet that melted immediately upon entry. She looked soaked and miserable, but quickly smiled when she caught sight of him and Tataru conversing in the foyer.

“Hey you two!” She wiped at her arms, futilely drying her hands on her pants as she approached. “How are you both holding up? Any news?”

He shut the leatherbound book, leaning back to look at her. “No news yet, we were just coordinating our next outing to gather intel. And I’m feeling well enough, thank you.”

“I’m good too! How are you, Yanisleidy? You were out in the Western Highlands, right?”

“Yeah. With Artoirel.” As the color faded from her windburned face, he could see Yani bore several light wounds and bruises. She ran a hand through her hair, shaking some of the water out of it, sighing. “Ran into Iceheart.”

“Lady Iceheart!?” The monk began recounting the meeting she’d had in the abandoned mill, and the encounters leading up to it, all the while unwittingly yawning and stretching. She looked exhausted.

“This can wait until tomorrow, Yanisleidy. Do not let us keep you from your well-deserved rest.” 

“Yeah, that’s…” She yawned again before cursing under her breath at a pain in her side. “That’s probably a good idea, Alphinaud. I’m going to go… find a bath. Get some rest you two. And stay safe.”

Their Lalafell companion waved emphatically. “Goodnight, Yanisleidy!”

“Goodnight, my friend.” He smiled. Tataru turned quickly back to the reports in her hand, but Alphinaud watched the warrior of light as she left.  _ Yani isn’t limping, and she isn’t one to keep quiet if she really needs help, so in all probability she’s fine _ .

It was why he saw the youngest Fortemps son attempt to orchestrate an incident. Emmanellain ‘accidentally’ ran into Yanisleidy, likely in some attempt to catch her as she fell, but ended up being knocked aside himself. Yanisleidy caught him by the arm, of course, but it was clear the exchange wasn’t what he’d planned. Alphinaud couldn't help but laugh to himself, but regretted it when he realized the prodigal son was headed in their direction next. Alphinaud attempted to look fully engrossed in his documents.

“She’s a real masterpiece, eh?” Emmanellain was chuckling as he leaned onto the arm of the couch he and Tataru sat on.

“I beg your pardon?” He quirked a brow, feigning interest with wherever _ this  _ conversation was headed.  _ Thaliak preserve... _

“Yanisleidy. She’s got it all: she’s strong, gorgeous… she’s…" He seemed to flounder. "... she's got it all!” Alphinaud snorted, but Emmanellain, unhearing, continued. “Do you think she’d accept a favor from me?”

The scholar’s eyebrows shot up and it was everything in his power not to laugh in the man’s face.

“A favor? Isn’t she supposed to be helping you?” Tataru asked innocently, and Alphinaud sat up in his seat, feeling this conversation wouldn’t be resolved any time soon.

“He means a romantic favor, Tataru. Like a gesture.” The scholar felt strange explaining it. Perhaps this tradition wasn’t as common in Eorzea. “You give them to those you intend to court, to profess your feelings.”

“Here in Ishgard, our favors tend to be jewellery. She’d like a ring, wouldn’t she?” Even Tataru shot Emmanellain a pitiful glance.

“She’s a fist fighter.” Alphinaud stated plainly. The young lord’s assistant seemed to understand, but it didn’t register for Emmanellain.

“Exactly, she’ll look phenomenal!”

Alphinaud hid another laugh in a well timed cough. “Bloody knuckles from a ring cutting into her finger hardly seems practical.” To his credit, Emanellain looked fully surprised by the concept.

“Then perhaps I should go traditional then, eh, old boy?” 

The thought made Alphinaud grimace, but he wasn’t sure why.

“No, I really don’t think you-”

“What’s traditional?” He gave Tataru a withering glance, but the Lalafell shrugged at him. “I want to know!”

“The traditional favor is a red silk handkerchief, embroidered with your initials and theirs to signify your intent to be joined with them.” Emmanellain explained.

Alphinaud felt obligated to clarify. “It is a tradition usually reserved for those who believe they have a strong enough relationship with the other person to pursue them. To present such a gift without a  _ proper foundation _ of relationship is generally regarded  _ at best _ as a faux pas, and as a  _ terrible offense _ at worst.” He looked pointedly at Emmanellain as he spoke, and the scholar’s meaning seemed to dawn on him. The young lord looked sheepish.

“That’s so romantic! We don’t have anything like that in Ul’dah.” The Lalafell sighed, sitting back.

Alphinaud tried not to sigh in exasperation. “Was there anything else you needed, Lord Emmanellain?”

“... Do you know what Lady Roselle is doing tomorrow?”  _ This man is incorrigible _ . Thankfully, Honoroit spoke before anyone else could.

“We will be heading with her to the Sea of Clouds on the following evening, on the assignment from Count Edmont, my lord. So she will likely be preparing for the journey.”

“Oh? So we will be with her the day after tomorrow? I mean- of course, we will. Wonderful!” Emmanellain bid them farewell and Alphinaud breathed a sigh of relief. For the moment, their peace returned.

Then Tataru spoke.

“You seem very familiar with this practice, Alphinaud.”

“What? The favors?” She nodded. “It’s not uncommon in Sharlayan. Many at the Studium exchanged such gifts with those they wished to court.”

“Did you ever give any favors? Or receive any?”

Remembering the way he acted at the academy, he blindly hoped she didn’t notice the way he turned vermillion. “No, it’s- It implies a very serious relationship. It’s not something to toss around lightly, though the youngest Lord Fortemps may have you thinking otherwise.”

“I see. It sounds so sweet. I would think anyone would be overjoyed to receive such a token.” Tataru sighed again, a far away look on her face.

The two Scions moved on, the scholar’s mind kept wandering. Outside of his usual crassness, the idea that Emmanellain might seek to court the warrior of light did not sit comfortably with Alphinaud. She was a free woman, but he had an inkling that she would not take well to the youngest Fortemps son’s advances. The thought did little to fill the small gnawing hollow that sat in his stomach, but it was nothing a good night’s rest wouldn’t fix.

He and Tataru had a long day ahead of them as well, searching the city for leads on their missing companions. Difficult as it was, he had to hope that their fortune would return to them soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Was working on the chapters immediately after this one and wanted to make sure that this one didn't need any changes before it went up. Then I came to visit my nephew and then I wouldn't wake up before noon.... so that's whats up, lol.  
> This one's a little short, but the next one will make up for it!   
> Thank you for reading, and as always, please let me know what you think in the comments!


	6. Bruises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW/TW: canon-typical violence; descriptions of injury, but not in gory detail

Ser Paulecrain had taken note of him, and charged before he could dodge. In a second, the Heavens’ Ward knight had him by the front of his coat, dangling Alphinaud a fulm and a half in the air. He dropped his grimoire, grasping desperately at the man’s gauntlet for relief. Before any could be found, he was thrown to the side. In the moments before he hit the ground, he shut his eyes tight and braced himself for the slamming impact that never came. Instead, a pair of arms caught him about the shoulders and waist, cradling him close. The hit still took the air out of him, but the body around him took the brunt of the fall.

He opened his eyes and found himself staring over a dark metal shoulder pad, past short green hair.

Yani pulled back from him, looking down at his face. Her golden eye shimmered, literally glowing, as she eyed him over. Assured he wasn’t seriously injured, the monk charged back into the thick of it before he could speak.

He scrambled to his feet in time to see her land a metal-rending hit on the knight who'd tossed him, leaning heavily into the punch. When Ser Grinneaux came up behind her, Yani dropped to the ground, spinning on her side to take the mens’ legs out from under them. In the window she created, she made a mad dash for his tome, tossing it to him with as much care as someone throwing something could. 

He caught it, the heavy book’s corner slamming sharply into his sternum. There was no time to linger on the pain as their opponents redoubled their efforts, lunging now for the warrior of light.

To her credit, Yani didn’t make it easy for either man to land a blow on her; ducking and dodging, she flanked them each in turn, slamming her spiked knuckles in any weak spot she could find. He rushed to re-summon Carbuncle, immediately siccing the spirit onto the men.

They all traded blows for a time, Yani keeping the men’s attention away from Alphinaud so he could cast his spells from the other side of the arena.

When the flat side of Ser Grinneaux’s axe blindsided the monk, it took all of his self restraint not to shout. The marauder's weapon slammed into her side like a hammer, launching her across the chamber. In the back of his mind, Alphinaud registered a high pitched scream from Tataru, but he was focused on the page before him, casting Adloquium on Yani in a desperate attempt to alleviate _any_ of the damage the knight had inflicted. The way she rolled as she hit the ground was not inspiring confidence; she looked like a ragdoll.

It was a couple seconds before Yani picked herself up to a kneeling position. He didn’t miss her spit out an amount of blood before standing, and he readied another round of Physick. As he channeled extra aether into the spell, he watched a crackling, electric aura form around the monk. Her eye was glowing as before, but with a greater fury, brighter now. The knights were closing in on her now, and he pushed himself and the aether to reach her faster.

In the moment his spell washed over her, Yani dashed forward, diving into the gap between the men before rolling to her feet. She slammed a foot down as they turned toward her, and the pair were almost knocked over by the shockwave she produced. She ran at Ser Paulecrain again, landing two kicks on him before springing back. As Alphinaud was readying another spell, it felt like he was watching in slowed time as Grinneaux reared back to perform the same devastating hit he’d landed on the monk before. His voice was caught in his throat, but Carbuncle must have sensed his distress.

The small primal sent a blast of wind energy at the knight, ruining the trajectory of his axe and giving Yani just enough space to dodge the slab of steel.

He couldn’t quite hear her through the struggle, but she was hissing something at the knights through grit teeth.

“-return the _favor_ !” Grinneaux’s swing had left him open and Yani capitalized. The way her fists moved was meteoric, a wave of heat searing the air around her as she delivered a blow he heard _crunch_ against the knight’s jaw with crystal clarity. The man fell to the ground, his face a bleeding mess, and his partner was soon to follow.

When neither man would stand again, the two Scions finally shared a look. Despite her battered chest still heaving from the exertion and the line of blood trailing down her chin from a split lip, Yani smiled at him. The crowd around them roared; with cheers or jeers, he cared little. They had won; they were alive. He dismissed Carbuncle as the adrenaline in his veins began wearing off. He barely heard the Archbishop announce his and Tataru’s innocence and freedom under the Fury. The monk shuffled up to him, leaning onto his shoulder with her elbow, letting out a large breath. She braced her other hand on her knee, leaning toward him as she spoke.

“Thank the Twelve, you’re safe.” The sentence came out as a wheeze, her words more rasping than usual.

He could hardly help the exhausted smile that spread across his own lips. “Thanks to you, all three of us are.”

“I-” She looked over at Tataru, who was waving behind the shutter with tears in her eyes. “Y-yeah. Be absolutely lost without you two to keep me pointed in the right direction.”

Up close he could see the knights had not made the fight easy for her: on top of the split lip, she bore a red lump near her temple he knew would soon be a sickly green and purple bruise within the sennight.

When the shutter opened, Tataru ran over to them, tears now flowing freely. The Highlander grabbed the Lalafell in a quick hug before hoisting the small woman onto her shoulder. Tataru laughed freely now, and he couldn’t hold back a smile at the scene.

The sons of House Fortemps guided them all back to the manor. Haurchefant hung off Yani’s shoulder the whole way, preaching about her might in battle and how the knight had known they would succeed. It must have been the time they’d spent imprisoned, combined with the weariness he carried from the fight, but Alphinaud had little patience to listen to the cheerful knight’s ramblings. Yani, to her credit, was at least entertaining Haurchefant’s prattle, but her tones did little to quell the pounding headache forming in the back of his mind.

 _Thank the Twelve._ The staff of House Fortemps had been notified in advance of their arrival and drawn baths for each of them in different corners of the manor. The monk gave Tataru a pat on the head and Alphinaud a quick smile and wave before they were each escorted away.

The hot water was a balm on his sore body, but highlighted each and every cut and scrape he’d sustained. On his wrists, thin cuts from the edges of the shackles stung in the frothing water, as did the few scrapes he received from his fall. The bath did wonders for his head, though the words of the House Fortemps knight to his friend still rattled idly.

He wondered how Yani fared. Her garb did not afford much in the way of protection, as free as she needed to be to punch and contort. His spells would have knitted up her internal injuries and her deepest cuts, but did little to fix bumps and bruises. Dunking his head below the water, he learned of another cut above his eye he hadn’t noticed. As he surfaced, the scholar hissed at the sharp pain. A comb had been left out for him and he worked on the knots forming in his silver hair as a way to distract from the itching pain above his eye.

As the water turned cold, he dried and dressed, braiding his hair while it was still manageable. It was so long now, he absently wondered if Alisaie’s was the same. Ambling through the halls of the manor, Alphinaud eventually found his way to the hallway with their chambers. There was a small office at the mouth of the hall where they often met amongst themselves. From the light below the door, he guessed that Tataru had returned first. She was likely catching up on what they had missed in their incarceration. Alphinaud would need to do so as well, but he would leave that for the next sun, exhaustion seeping into his bones. At minimum, though, he would at least bid the Scion a good night.

He knocked lightly, and the voice on the other side of the door confirmed his initial suspicion. He entered but stopped when a voice called out from the hallway.

“Right behind you.” He turned in time to see his good friend sidle up to him at the doorway, Yani’s usually light green hair now a shade darker from the bath. She was wearing her eyepatch as always, smirking down at him. He was right about her cheek: though the swelling had reduced, the skin had already begun to purple.

“How are you faring, my friend?” Alphinaud stepped backwards into the room to face her before turning to Tataru.

“Yeah! You took some heavy hits in that fight.” The secretary chimed in from where she sat at a desk, reports scattered across it. _As I expected._

“Can’t say I’ll be spry tomorrow, but I’ve lived through worse.” She carried a bundle under her arm that she dropped unceremoniously at the foot of a chair before falling into the seat herself. The bundle jingled open: a collection of leathers, plates, and fastenings from her armor that weren’t bloodstained in the brawl. The rest, he hypothesized, would be cleaned in the washing tomorrow.

“You’ve more than earned a rest, as well as our overwhelming gratitude.”

“Indeed.” Tataru reiterated before waxing excitedly about the events of the fight. “You two were phenomenal in that fight! And I’ve never seen someone dive across a chamber as quickly as you did, Yanisleidy.” _What is she talking about?_   
“Diving is an exaggeration, Tataru.” Self-conscious was not a description usually associated with the warrior of light, but it was the only way he could describe how she curled in on herself at the comment, attempting to distract by re-braiding her hair with deft fingers.

The scholar raised a brow, leaning on the wall by the door. “Dive?”

“When Ser Paulecrain had you off the floor, Alphinaud, she was practically on the opposite end of the field antagonizing Grinneaux.” Tataru spoke animatedly, her unruly hair falling into her face. “To see her sprint across the chamber and catch you midair; oh, it was breathtaking!”

He wracked his brain to remember their positions at that point in the fight. _Had she truly gone so far for him?_ From where he now stood, he couldn’t see Yani’s expression.

“If memory serves, it was breathtaking for everyone involved. Lightweight as you are, Alphinaud, catching a man midair is not something I should make a habit of.” Her attempt to create levity and redirect attention failed with their secretarial friend, who looked even more starstruck.

“And when you knocked out Grinneaux! What a blow!” Tataru acted out the uppercut, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at the display. “I’ve never seen you do anything like that, Yanisleidy! When’d you learn that?”

The monk once more seemed uncharacteristically hesitant. “Recently. I learned about a new way to open my chakra a few suns ago.”

Alphinaud found the question rolling off his tongue unbidden. “New chakra?”

“It’s… not easy to explain, and I’m not sure I fully understand it yet. Before helping Emmanellain in the Sea of Clouds, I had a meeting with my old mentor, Widargelt.” His name sounded familiar, the w rolling out of her mouth as more of a v sound.

The pieces fit together, but something from her story did not process. “But last I heard… your mentor was staying in Mor Dhona, was he not?”

“...He was.” When she saw him looking expectantly at her, she looked away, voice quiet. “I met him there.” Tataru gasped and he felt his shoulders tense.

“And you would put yourself at such mortal risk!?” He was standing straight now. The idea of her slinking through the infested outpost made him see red. “You know full well the Crystal Braves stationed there would have you executed on sight if they caught you!”

“I was careful, Alphinaud. I took every precau-” She was speaking too calmly, sitting up in her chair and giving him a firm look.

“And if that had not been sufficient? If they had captured you? Or worse, if they-” Alphinaud hardly noticed himself pacing toward her until Yanisleidy stood up suddenly in front of him, staring down at him harshly.

“Then we’d be dead. _We’d all be dead_. I get it, Alphinaud.” The monk practically spat the words, not bothering to wait for a response before stalking out of the room.

_That wasn’t…_

It wasn’t what he’d meant at all. 

He looked over to Tataru, the secretary clearly upset by the exchange. 

“That wasn’t my inten-”

“I know.” She frowned and tidied her reports before excusing herself. She took with her the sole candle and, in doing so, plunged the room into darkness. He lowered his hands to his sides, he hadn’t even realized he’d raised them. Alphinaud dropped himself into a chair.

He sat in the dark for a spell.

For as exhausted as he’d felt before, he was wide awake now. Unable to even consider shut eye for more than a minute, he leaned back in the chair and let his head fall back.

Guilting his savior, his _friend_ , was not what he’d meant to do. In his rage, he hadn’t extrapolated the theoretical chain of events so far as she did: he’d been worried about _her_. He was furious at the idea of what might have befallen her if the worst had come to pass.

Within the bell, he stepped out into the hall, his steps making little sound as he padded across the floor. Even through her closed door, he heard Tataru’s snores breaking the silence. He hesitated outside Yani’s door, just listening. It was silent inside, unsurprisingly. He’d never noticed her to be a loud sleeper. If sleep had taken her quickly, it was to be expected, considering the day she’d had.

That she now believed him ungrateful for their expeditious release, it made him sick. He leaned against her door, sliding down it until he was seated on the floor. Alphinaud rubbed his palms into his eyes, groaning.

“I’m sorry, Yani. I… That wasn’t what I meant.” He spoke to the cavernous manor hall, willing the darkness to swallow him whole, to be rid of this horrible feeling gnawing at him.

He sighed.

“Then what did you mean?” Her words were muffled, but he jumped at the break in the silence, peeling away from the door. The door cracked open to reveal Yanisleidy as he’d seen her before, in her night clothes, but with her eyepatch removed. Masked as it was by shadow, he could feel his face quickly heat as he leapt to his feet.

“Y-you’re awake?”

“I told you I was a light sleeper.” Her words were matter-of-fact. Impassive. “Come in, Alphinaud.”

Dark as it was, she led him into the room, gently kicking aside a pile of unused quilts before offering him a seat beside her on the bed.

“What did you mean, Alphinaud?” _Direct, as always._

“I… When I spoke, I was not truly thinking about Tataru or I; I was concerned about what they may have done to you had they…” He stumbled, remembering their betrayal. “had they caught you.”

“Why?” The question struck him, blunt as it was, so straightforward.

“Because I’m not sure what we would do without you.”

“You’d need to find a new champion to kill primals, for a start.” Without a clear look at her face, he couldn’t tell if she meant it to be in jest or not. He dropped his face into his hands, hunched over.

“That’s-” _By the Twelve, I’m butchering this._ “That isn’t what I meant either.”

“Tell me, then.”

“We… depend on you, Yanisleidy.” Heartfelt admissions were not his strong suit, and he was feeling it now more than ever. “More than we should. But in more ways than one, you are our last hope. Tataru and I couldn’t achieve even half of what we’re attempting to accomplish here without your assistance. So when you mentioned that you put yourself in harm's way I… did not react well. And for that I apologize.”

He looked up and found her watching him coolly, shaking her head back and forth as she pondered his words.

“I accept your apology, Alphinaud.” A wave of relief fell over him, but she continued. “But I don’t regret what I did.”

“I see.” The air between them seemed stilted and uncomfortable, and he spoke to fill it. “I just wanted you to know, Yani, that we worry about you. Tataru and I.” Everything about the situation felt too personal, and excusing some of his… emotional response as Tataru’s shared feelings relieved him slightly, but did not absolve the worry at the back of his mind. 

“Well.” She sounded tired, but her expression was hard to read in the dark. “We should get some rest, Alphinaud.”

“I agree.” He nodded and stood, walking softly back to his own room. As he turned to shut the door, a thought struck him. He poked his head back into the room.

“Yani?”

The Ala Mhigan turned to look up at him, already half laid in the bed with only a light sheet. “Yeah?”

“You have my thanks. For everything.”

“... Of course, Alphinaud.” She smiled her half smile, and a small warmth bloomed in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tfw you dont have a tank and the monk loses aggro on the dragoon to the healer
> 
> Thanks for sticking around, everybody! Last chapter was a bit of a silly one, so I hope you enjoyed the action in this one! After a week of writers block, the train is finally chugging along, so hopefully I'll be sticking closer to my weekly update schedule from now on.  
> Writing monk combat is _very fun for me._ :^)  
> As always, please let me know what you think, and thank you for reading!


	7. Braves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW/TW: rape mention; description of combat/violence with mention of gore, but not explicit; emetophobia

Raubahn was alive. For now, at least.

With everything in place, the scouts’ intel good, sweeping the traitorous Crystal Braves out of Halatali wouldn’t be easy, but it would be straight forward. The toughest task would be making sure the Flame General made it out with all his remaining bits left and breathing. She was familiar enough with the labyrinth, with how many times she’d been called to clear out the area. What stunned her was Alphinaud’s role in their maneuver, however. To think he would want to see this through himself was unsurprising, after all, she knew the weight he carried on his shoulders. But after the night they’d had a while back, when he’d told her about…

Well. She could only imagine what was going through his head.  
“Some resolve has returned to you since we last spoke, Master Alphinaud.” Yugiri’s voice was even as she spoke, examining her daggers.

Alphinaud seemed aloof before responding. “I- Yes. As ashamed as I am to recall it, I was well and truly lost for a time. But with the help of Yanisleidy and our comrades, I have recovered, and I will journey not to lose sight of my purpose again.” Yanisleidy did not miss the way he glanced in her direction for just a moment, but began to prepare for their fight.

“I see. Then perhaps it is best that we begin our assault soon.”

“Agreed.”

Yugiri set their Doman allies to clear the entrance for their attack, while Yanisleidy and Alphinaud finished their last preparations.

“You all set, Alphinaud?” She was stretching her shoulders, loosening up while keeping a close eye on him. He offered a nod, looking up from his tome.

"Yes, let me just-" Gusts of wind shifted around him as he opened the book to a specific page, scrawling something she didn’t recognize before beginning to channel his aether through it. His hair whipped around in the gale and she watched on, fascinated, as the ethereal form of a Carbuncle appeared between them. The familiar, for all its power and destructive capabilities, leaped around them playfully, and hopped onto her shoulder. She laughed softly and pushed away its glowing muzzle as it nuzzled into her neck.

"I think- they like me." She said, attempting to continue stretching her arms with the spirit pawing over her back. 

"It seems so.” He chuckled quietly, but sobered quickly considering the situation. “Are you and your men ready, Lady Yugiri?"

The Au Ra looked out around the corner before turning back to them with a curt nod. "We are. With me!"

\---

They rolled through the Crystal Braves near the front of the tunnels with relative ease: unprepared for a calculated ambush, the men hardly stood a chance. She had personally recruited some of these traitors herself, so dropping them like sacks was a bittersweet victory.

She could only imagine how Alphinaud was feeling.

“How are you two holding up?” She asked as they ran, wiping the sweat from her brow.

“I am well.” Yugiri hardly sounded winded. They rounded another corner.

Her friend was quiet. “Alphinaud?”

"Yanisleidy." She heard the scholar’s shoes skid to a halt behind her.

“What?" She surveyed the situation ahead, a scrawny blond Hyur with a lance stood a dozen yalms away, watching them with a smug expression. Or, more specifically, watching Alphinaud. She turned to her friend, unease building. "Is that-?”

“Yes.” His words were a whisper, and his hand shook on the page. In a moment, her anxiety flashed into anger and she grabbed his shoulder, attempting to break his gaze. His azure eyes were wide, locked on the man.

She turned to the shinobi. “Yugiri, can you handle the room to the east?” 

Yugiri’s response was curt. “Certainly.” She sprinted off with a nod.

The lancer was still watching them, walking toward them at a mockingly slow pace. Yanisleidy dropped her voice to speak to the young scholar.

“I meant what I said that night, Alphinaud.” _I’ll kill that man._ “Just say the word.”

There was no hiding the fury in her voice, no reason to.

He looked up at her, daze broken, brows drawn. His eyes were clear, so clear.

Alphinaud nodded. “Please, Yani.” 

She sprinted off.

“Oh, hey, Commander, come back to pla-?” The man’s pithy line died on his lips as her fist connected with his cheek. He reeled and she gave him no quarter, closing quickly to knee him in the stomach and crotch before flipping him over her shoulder hard onto the cobbles.

She felt emboldened as Alphinaud’s familiar magic washed over her, the strain in her arms less severe, and with his Carbuncle beside her. She wouldn’t let this poor excuse for a man walk out of this fight _alive_ , much less having actually hit her with his lance. 

As he rolled onto his back and attempted to retrieve his weapon, she watched Carbuncle pull the lance away in its mouth, whipping it close to the bastard's face; the lancer barely ducked back in time. She took the opening as the man skittered back on his hands to dive at him, and landed hard on his sternum with her knee, satisfied by the crack she heard there along with his cry in pain. 

“P-please, le-let me go I won’t- I’ve got a family.” His words were desperate, broken by gasps for air. 

“Yeah? A family?” Yanisleidy bore down harder on him, leaning close with grit teeth.

“Yes, pl-please!” His hands pushed at her knee uselessly and she watched him, Alphinaud’s shaking frame from that night still vivid in her mind.

The monk’s words came out a low hiss, nostrils flaring. “Then you shouldn’t have tried to rape mine.” 

She spit in his face, fury burning hotter than Ifrit's flames in her veins as she punched him in the eye. 

Then she threw another hit.

And another hit.

She laid into him, delivering blow after blow until she'd lost count. 

And when he stopped moving, his face unrecognizable through the gore, she stood, shaking her gauntlets off. She felt dizzy. Nauseous. 

_How long was I on him?_ Alphinaud approached her out of the corner of her good eye, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak.

Instead, she stumbled away from him.

And retched.

“Are you alright?” She could distantly feel his hand, light on her back, patting softly, and felt Carbuncle wrap themself around her ankle.

“I-” She took a heaving breath, attempting to keep her bile down, wiping her chin with the back of her arm. “I’m fine, Alphinaud. He’s dead. Let’s-” She thought of the General. “Raubahn’s counting on us.”

“Yani.”

“Yeah?” She turned back to the scholar, to finally look at him, just in time for his hand to latch onto her arm.

“Thank you.” His words were crystal clear and she was stunned by the look on his face. Tears threatened at the corner of his bright eyes but did not fall, and some of the hard lines that had settled into his features had lifted, if only for the moment. She was hit with the urge to pull him into a crushing hug but pushed down the impulse. Pulling her gauntlet off, she settled for placing her hand over his as gently as she could manage, trying to still the shaking of her hand.

Her words were soft. Softer than she could remember. “Of course, Alphinaud. But-”

“I know. Let’s move.” He pulled away, but looked at her for a moment. He smiled softly before pulling out his book again. She offered a smile in return before slipping her gauntlet back on, breaking into a run. Yugiri was close behind them and the ninja shot her a questioning look, having caught the tail end of their encounter after finishing with her own. Yanisleidy simply shook her head.

Yugiri, ever the professional, did not pry.

\---

Ilberd was fast on his feet, swiping at her with experienced strikes. Yanisleidy had half a mind to keep her arms attached, carefully placing her own blows, running a more defensive stance than usual. Taking out Ilberd’s crones had been much more simple, but she knew not to let her guard down around the man himself.

Which is why she hardly reacted when he started spitting venom at her.

“What do you think you’re doing here, lass? The right thing? The _just_ thing?”

“I’m-” She dodged another of his swipes with a hasty smirk. “-saving my friends from the likes of you.”

“Hah! Stupid bitch, you think these _parasites_ are your friends?” He laughed at her as he spoke, still effortlessly swinging at her as if the actions were as simple as walking. She frowned, unable to keep up her brave face in the heat of the fight. “Can’t you see that the city-states, the Scions, - hell, even our paltry little commander over there- can’t you see they’re using you, girl?”

The thought sent a chill down her spine, and she hesitated for a moment. “No-”

“ _Yes_ .” Yanisleidy barely jumped out of the way of a heavy sideswipe, one of the buckles on her vest sheared off in the very near miss. “They don’t care a whit about you, or what you want. Why do you think they’ve abandoned _our_ homeland to the Garleans?” She didn’t like the way he said _our_ , it made her sick to her stomach. _I’m nothing like you._

“They haven’t-” The Scions didn’t have the manpower to retake Ala Mhigo. And she knew the city-states had other pressing issues. 

_Right?_

“Face it, whelp. You’re a pawn, just like I used to be. And these fools will see you killed before you get even a gil of what you deserve.” He pressed forward again, his aggressive slashes even harder to avoid now.

“Y-you’re wrong, Ilberd.” Her lungs burned at the exertion, her movements becoming sluggish. She couldn’t think of the last time she’d landed a hit on him; _she couldn’t think at all._ “These- are my friends, and I’ll die before I let you get away with any of this.”

“Then you’ll die for people who would never do the same for you, child.” His foot connected with her stomach and there was no recovery she could muster as she skidded onto her back, truly fearful for the first time in ages.

Ilberd bore down on her and it was all she could do to watch his blade come down over her, paralyzed. She watched it, unable to peer away as the edge reflected the low light in the chamber

Which made the shiny golden barrier that appeared around her all the more stunning as it repelled the man’s sword at the last moment, the sound of the blade connecting with the forcefield breaking her from her panic.

She chanced a quick glance at her companions: Yugiri was holding off the other two men who fought at Ilberd’s side, and Alphinaud’s gaze was trained on the monk herself, his expression hidden by his long hair.

Another wave of the scholar’s healing magic washed over her, and she collected herself quickly as Ilberd recovered from his failed attack.

She redoubled her efforts against her countryman now, pushing her arms and legs as fast as she could move them. She found herself landing more hits on the gladiator, and his poisonous lines were all but absent now as she pushed him on the defensive.

She was smaller than Ilberd, and she used that fact in her favor, weaving around him and his shield to land more pointed blows than heavy ones. So when he pushed her off again, keeping her footing this time, she could tell he wouldn’t last much longer in this fight.

“I wish you could see things my way, you little snake, but you’ve already sold yourself away, just like the Sultana’s got Raubahn by the balls. Know this: there’s _nothing_ I would not give to take back Ala Mhigo. Can you say the same?”

With a flash bomb, he and his lackeys were off, and though every part of her longed to give chase, to see that man meet the same fate as the bastard she’d pummeled earlier, Yugiri reminded her and Alphinaud that they had higher priorities.

Yugiri and Alphinaud took charge of getting the Bull of Ala Mhigo released,and Yanisleidy didn’t really hear any of the words they said. When her companions looked to her for a response, over a disheartened Raubahn, she broke from her stupor.

She felt just as shaken as before, except a thousand times worse. It took more of her than she liked to admit to say something to rouse Raubahn and it felt trite coming out of her mouth.

“On your feet, gladiator.”

She didn’t really hear his response, nor anyone elses for a while after. Even as they walked out of Halatali, she couldn’t focus on anything.

Ilberd’s words echoed in her head.

\---

Once they'd escaped, and their mysterious benefactor had whisked away the Bull of Ala Mhigo with Yugiri and her countrymen, Yanisleidy felt drained. Alphinaud looked equally exhausted, dark bags beginning to form under his eyes. It seemed like he hadn’t noticed her exchange with his ex-captain, or if he had, he hadn’t remarked upon it.

"As much as we need a rest tonight, they’re expecting us in Vesper Bay, aren’t they?" She groaned. The idea of _walking_ across Thanalan after their harrowing encounter was debilitating. Even more so with the cacophony of thoughts echoing in her mind.

“I believe so. We should start working our way over if we want to reach Horizon before nightfall.” He’d been eerily quiet since they exited the labyrinth, and she knew neither of them were in any shape to make the trek. _We’re in… Eastern Thanalan… which means-_

“Hold on.” She dug through her pockets for a moment before pulling out a cute yellow chocobo whistle. With a large puff of air, she blew it and waited a moment, before blowing it again.

“You have something in mind?”

“We can take my chocobo, Chiquitin. He should be nearby, I kept him boarded in Drybone before our exile.” She peered over the horizon, but saw nothing. Alphinaud scoffed beside her.

“You named your chocobo _small?_ ”

“Yeah.” She did her best to put on a facade, smirking at him.

“ But, logistically, if this is your personal steed, we won’t both-” His brow was wrinkled, looking at her with exasperation.

“Just wait, Alphinaud.” She blew the whistle again.

A deep kweh sounded from beyond the rubble and now she grinned again at Alphinaud, more genuinely this time, as he looked up at her with concern. A massive dark blue chocobo sprinted up to them, practically knocking Yanisleidy off her feet as he collided with her. The behemoth bird nuzzled her closely, chirping happily.

“Chiquitin! Relax! I missed you too.” She felt awful, but the bird’s loving gestures did wonders to her spirits. She pet his beak and he nipped lightly at her hand, the gentlest of nibbles. Alphinaud looked floored.

“Hydaelyn’s grace, where in Eorzea did you get this giant bird?”

Her response was flat as she checked the chocobo’s saddle straps. “Maelstrom command.”

“Maelstrom command issued you a chocobo that could hold two fully-grown Roegadyn men?”

“Yeah. Seems like.”

“What were they thinking?” His line of questioning was starting to wear on her.

“Alphinaud, I’m not one to look a gift chocobo in the beak. And also if they want him back they _will_ have to fight me.” She stepped into the stirrup and pulled herself onto the decorated bird. “Do you want a ride or not, my friend?” The words had become habit, but after hearing what Ilberd said, they felt foreign to her. She tried not to frown.

She offered him a hand, and his gaze switched between her and her bird in disbelief. Unprompted, Chiquitin brought his large head down and softly pushed the Sharlayan toward her. Alphinaud gave her an astonished look.

She scratched the back of her head. “I didn’t teach him that.” 

“Well, how can I refuse such a generous offer with such a _gracious host?_ ” He addressed the chocobo sarcastically as he took her hand, and Chiquitin chirped happily as Yanisleidy helped Alphinaud up and into the saddle in front of her. It would not be the most comfortable ride either of them had ever rode, for certain. He adjusted carefully in front of her, as if she might shatter if he moved wrong.

“Get comfortable, Alphinaud, or tell me if I need to scoot back. I know it’s a tight squeeze with this saddle.” _Bird can hold two full grown Roegadyn but they didn’t give me a draught saddle..._   
“No, I’m fine.” She leaned over his shoulder to confirm with a look, and he smiled back, flushed. 

As much as she wanted to enjoy this ride she felt… sapped. On any other day, this might have been more enjoyable, being so close to Alphinaud and watching his reactions with interest, but she just felt hollow and distant.

Chiquitin lurched forward and the scholar, caught off guard, grabbed her hands with the reins with a death grip, before loosening to grip the horn of the saddle instead. The bird set a comfortable pace, and Yanisleidy guided him deftly, their path well travelled.

“When was the last time you rode a chocobo, Alphinaud?” She struggled to inject some energy into her voice.

“Not recently. I’m not certain I can even remember.”

“Does Chiquitin make you nervous?”

“No, you trust him. I am just-” They were jostled as the bird hopped over a large stone. “-just unaccustomed.”

“Well, it’ll still be a long ride if you wanna try and get some rest.” He twisted to look at her, a clear look of disbelief on his face. “You’d be surprised at how easy it can be to fall asleep on one of these.”

“I think I should be more than fine, Yani.”

He was quiet for a time, but spoke before long.

“Thank you, for what you did back there.”

“With what?”

He was silent in front of her. 

_What did I...?_

_Oh._

_Right._

“That bastard?” She grimaced as the bile rose in her throat again. “It was my pleasure. Don’t worry your pretty head about my lost lunch.”

“I’m not-” He started, affronted, but let it go with a sigh. “You went… above and beyond for me.” 

“It was nothing.” If Ilberd’s taunts were loud in her mind before, they were deafening now. _Alphinaud is my friend, of course I would do this for him. Because I know he’d do the same for me._

_Right?_

“Are you feeling well, Yani?” He didn’t turn to her, but the concern was clear in his voice.

“Hm? Y-yeah, of course. Why?”

“You have been somewhat quiet since our final fight. Is aught amiss?”

“There’s just been-” She coughed, trying to shake out her nerves. “It’s just been a long day.”

“I see.” She watched his hand raise off the horn of the saddle for a moment, pausing in air before returning, and they continued their journey in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I have the draught chocobo? No. Do I yearn for it? Yes.  
> Thank you for reading this chapter! Themes got a little heavy in this one, so I hope I didn't skeeve anyone out.  
> As always, I love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, so feel free to leave a comment!


	8. Appearances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW/TW: Canon-typical violence

Yanisleidy was gone. 

For the monk to be gone for a couple days at a time was not uncommon before the Scions had been ousted from Eorzea, but since they had made Ishgard their temporary base of operations, she’d never been away longer than a day or so.

It had been a week.

“Do you think we should send a search party for her?” Tataru was fraught beside him, bundled up against the chill of Ishgard.

“Who have we to send? House Fortemps has already provided us with more aid than we can afford to repay at the moment.” Alphinaud grimaced, looking out over the pillars once more. The outfit Yani normally sported with its dark green and brown hues was much harder to spot than her old temple attire, but looking out over the Ishgardian populace, it was still obvious she was not to be found among them.

“I’m worried about her, Alphinaud.”

“As am I.” He leaned back against the stone bannister, shivering at the chilled stone. “What are our leads? What do we know about the situation?”

“Yanisleidy left a note for us that said she’d ‘be back in a while.’ She left about 8 suns ago, and no one’s seen her since.” The note was unsigned, but her messy scrawl was unmistakable.

“And who all have we inquired with as to her whereabouts?”

“Count Edmont, Lords Artoirel and Emmanellain, representatives from the other high houses, Ser Aymeric, and everyone at the Ironworks.”

“What of Lord Haurchefaunt? Did we send him a missive?” _They’re friends_ , he thought. Perhaps it would not be so surprising if the knight knew of her location, as much as the idea irked him.

“With the heavy snowfall in the Central Highlands as of late, the Count has been unwilling to risk sending lone messengers.”

He hummed, turning over their options in his mind. “Then perhaps we should consider heading out to Camp Dragonhead to speak with him ourselves.”

“It’s our only lead at this point, right?”

“Short of asking random passersby, I believe you’re right.”

The pair began their trek down to Foundation to see a woman about renting two chocobos to get them through the storm safely, and Tataru continued their discussion on the way.

“Do you think Yanisleidy’s in any danger?”

The idea was upsetting. “Would that I could say she’s safe, but we have no way of knowing.” He thought about every time he’d seen her fight, the way she trained and stretched in her off hours to make sure she was always in top form. As much as he bore a penchant for worrying about such matters overmuch, Yani had made it clear that his concern was appreciated, but unwarranted. “She’s one of the strongest women I’ve ever met, I’m sure she can more than handle herself in most situations.”

“Maybe so. But she’s been acting strange lately. You’ve noticed it, haven’t you?”

“Perhaps.” Strange was one way to put it. The Ala Mhigan, usually straightforward and friendly, had been more reserved lately. Turning to meditation was not inherently bad by any stretch, not generally, but she had spent more and more time each day since their foray into Thanalan in solitude, and when they did see her, she did not seem any better for it. Her lessons had continued but her progress seemed stilted, Yanisleidy herself more distant than ever. At the time, Alphinaud worried he might come off as rude inquiring after her.

Being proven wrong time and again was not a habit he was enjoying getting into.

His Lalafell companion scoffed. “Something’s been bothering her, Alphinaud. I’m sure you can see that just as clearly as I can.”

“You’re right, Tataru, though I will admit I’ve been somewhat slow on the uptake.”

“I think she’s been off since you gave her an earful after our trial before the Holy See.”

 _The trial?_ His brows shot up. “That was more than a moon ago. Surely, she can’t-”

“It seemed to me like you really hurt her feelings, Alphinaud. And I’m _certain I_ didn’t see you apologize-”

He cut her off, scowling. “I _did_ apologize, Tataru.”

“And what exactly did you say in your apology?” Her tone brooked no argument, but he was still taken aback by the request.

He thought back to that night before responding with his head held high.

“I told her that we and our cause rely on her. Yanisleidy is our most stalwart ally, after all. She-”

“Alphinaud.” Tataru stopped walking, disrupting some of the foot traffic around them.

“What?” He turned to face her, and found the most furious expression he’d ever seen on the secretary.

“That’s not an apology! You yelled at Yanisleidy for saving us, and then told her _it was her job!_ ”

_Did I?_

“I didn’t-” He sputtered as the small woman approached him, fire in her eyes.

“You did!” She aggressively poked him in the leg, glaring up at him.

“I- _I was worried about her!_ ” Any attempt to keep an even temperament was thrown out now, as he responded in kind to her chidings.

“Then you should have _told her that!_ ” Tataru jumped up and down, frustration clear in her waving fists. 

Alphinaud reeled away from her, any response crumbling away on his lips. He hadn’t…

He really _hadn’t_ apologized.

_And Yanisleidy forgave you anyway._

He grimaced.

Tataru was relatively calm again, walking once more. “And she’s been even worse since you came back with the Flame General. What happened?”

“You read the reports.” He folded his arms, trying to keep some measure of warmth and pride about him.

The Lalafell shot him a look. “There’s more to every story than what’s in the reports.”

He brought a hand to his chin, reminiscing.

They fought off several waves of Crystal Braves in the starting chambers. That wasn’t it. 

She had killed the man who had threatened him back in Ul’dah, and was overtaken with nausea. That probably wasn’t it, at least not wholly. She’d assured him of that. 

_Best not to linger._

Then Yanisleidy took on Ilberd in one-on-one combat, hadn’t she? The Ala Mhigan veteran had singled her out. It was only by a stroke of good luck that Alphinaud had been able to shield her in time from what could have been a crippling blow. He could see the scene clearly in his head: Yanisleidy shuffling away on her hands, blood-soaked gauntlets slipping on the dusty cobbles, as Ilberd spoke above her with a wicked smile on his face.

_Wait._

“What did Ilberd say to Yani?”

“What?” Tataru’s voice broke him from his thoughts; he hadn’t even realized he’d begun thinking out loud halfway through.

“When we fought Ilberd and the Crystal Braves, he cut Yani off from the rest of us. At the time, I had assumed they were simply duelling, but if memory serves, he was speaking to her through the fight.” The more he thought back, the more he could remember sardonic laughter coming from the man as Yani dodged his blows.

_Ilberd is a clever man. Wretched, but brilliant. The idea that he might have said something to demoralize Yani, or worse… Well. There’s no way he could have said something to turn her against them._

_Right?_

The thought made the bile rise in his throat.

“Then you think-”

“I believe she’s left due, at least in part, to whatever Ilberd said to her.”

“Then we need to find her quickly! And you need to apologize for real!”

“I alre-” Tataru pressed him with a hard glare. _This isn’t the time to argue._ “Fine.”

\---

“So you haven’t seen her?”

“I am afraid not, Master Alphinaud. One of our scouts reported seeing a bird as you described passing by to the southwest some days ago, but if it was our young heroine, she did not stop and none here can confirm that it was her.”

“If that’s the case… it’s a lead, but a tenuous one at best.” He turned to Tataru. “What do you think of this?”

She looked positively cratered. “What choice have we?”

“Who all are you looking for?” An Auri adventurer stepped forward from the wall beside Haurchefant’s desk, his long, dark hair pulled back with a dark red ribbon, white horns framing his face. There was something vaguely familiar about him, but Alphinaud couldn’t put his finger on it. “I wasn’t paying attention, but she sounds like somebody I know.”

“Our trusted companion: she’s a young Highlander woman, trained monk, around six fulms tall, green hair-”

“With a blind right eye?” The foreign man pointed to his own uninjured eye.

“Yes, do you know her?”

“Yan Roselle, right? She’s a member of our free company.” Alphinaud and Tataru exchanged surprised looks as the adventurer spoke. “I ran into her on my way here last week.”

“How fortuitous that we run into you now. Pardon my asking, but who exactly are you?”

“Toshiie Furukane. Toshiie is fine.” Despite hard lines under his eyes, the Au Ra regarded them jovially. The large sword on his back seemed well worn, as did his travelling clothes.

Haurchefant took the words out of the scholar’s mouth. “Where did you last see her, Toshiie?”

“Just south of Boulder Downs. Seemed like she was in a rush, even though none of us have seen her in _ages_. When I asked her where she was headed, all I got from her was ‘Mor Dhona.’ Didn’t even stop. Very strange for her.”

“I see.” With a hand to his chin, Alphinaud turned to Tataru. “Then we should make haste.” _Is she meeting someone there? Hopefully not at Ilberd’s behest._

“Wait. If you two are going to find her, I’ll go with you.”

“But you’ve only been here a few days, my friend.” Haurchefant practically whined, a surprising tone from the diligent knight. The Auri dark knight shot Haurchefant a sympathetic look.

“I’ll be back soon enough, Haurchefant.” He turned to Alphinaud and Tataru with a smile, gripping the hilt of the blade on his back. “If you’re going looking for Yan, then you might need my help if she’s caught up in something nasty.”

Alphinaud cast Haurchefant a questioning look.

“I’d trust him with my life, Master Alphinaud. You can trust Toshiie.”

“If you have Lord Haurchefant’s vote of confidence, Toshiie, we will be more than glad to have your assistance.”

Tataru, quiet for a time, was studying the ground. “Alphinaud, I may be more of a burden on this journey than a boon, if things do go south.” She muttered. “Perhaps it may be best that I stay here in Ishgard to keep apprised of the current events.”

“Loathe as I am to admit it, I believe you have the right of it, Tataru. Will you be fine making the journey back to Ishgard on your own?”

“I can send an escort with her to assure her safety.” Haurchefant offered.

“That would be much appreciated.” He turned back to Tataru. “May the Twelve guide you.”

“And you, Alphinaud. And don’t forget what I told you!” Her gaze was sharp.

He gulped. “I-I won’t.”

\---

“It was Alphinaud, right?” The Au Ra kept his purple chocobo astride Alphinaud’s own rental, speaking casually as they rode. The snowfall had finally let up, the winds still for the first time in a moon.

“Yes. Alphinaud Leveilleur, pleased to make your acquaintance.”

The man grinned at him, his white horns framing his face. “Well met! How did you meet our Ala Mhigan friend?”

He remembered back to the time and cringed; the smug superiority he wore at all times. _Truly a chip on my shoulder._ “We met at the Carteneau remembrance speeches in the city-states last year. We began working together soon after through the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. How about the two of you?”

“We met when she was a fresh face in Ul’dah, figured she might need a helping hand in a new land. We just ended up becoming friends, and another acquaintance of ours started a free company. Now, we just help each other out when our jobs require more than we can handle on our own.”

“Understandable. Then, am I right in guessing that you are one of the ones who has accompanied her in slaying some of the primals that have threatened Eorzea as of late?” 

“You wouldn’t be wrong. I’ve been at her side since the first in that respect.” That’s where Alphinaud had seen the man; he recognized Toshiie from their first battle with Garuda.

“Ah.” Before he could inquire further, Toshiie shot him another question.

“So if you’re a member of that Seventh Dawn organization, then can you tell me where she’s been lately?” The Au Ra was looking ahead, but Alphinaud could see the look of concern on his stark features. “We’ve been worried about her.”

He recounted the basics of the situation, not going into any unnecessary details about what exactly caused them to head into exile. After all, if the Sultana’s poisoning had not been made public, it seemed out of line to bring it up at all.

“I see. Do you have any idea why Yan’s run off now? It’s not like her.” The man’s nickname for her struck Alphinaud. _Who else calls her Yan?_

The scholar shook his head.

“I cannot be certain but I have my guesses.” 

\---

The rural outpost was cleared of the last remains of the Crystal Braves, thankfully. As they questioned the local populace to see if anyone had seen their missing friend, many hands pointed to a different Ala Mhigan monk.

“Are you Widargelt of the Fist of Rhalgr?” He was a broad man wearing a somewhat ostentatious outfit, overlooking the aetheryte plaza in Revenant’s Toll.

When the monk spoke, his voice was low, much quieter than Alphinaud would have guessed. “I am. Who is asking?”

The scholar cleared his throat, trying to ignore the way his neck strained looking up at the man. “I am Alphinaud Leveilleur with the Scions of the Seventh Dawn, and this is my companion, Toshiie Furukane. We are looking for your student, Yanisleidy Roselle. Have you seen her?”

“Scions of the Seventh Dawn... She mentioned you.” Widargelt pondered with eyes shut, before regarding the scholar once more. “She is my student no longer, but I have met with her, yes.”

Alphinaud and Toshiie responded in tandem.

“You’ve seen her?”

“No longer your student?”

Widargelt shook his head. “Yanisleidy’s power surpassed mine many Moons ago. Now we fight and train as brothers-in-arms. To call her my student would be a disrespect to her efforts.”

“Oh, of course.” _Yanisleidy always calls him her mentor, so I simply assumed..._ “When was the last time you saw her?”

“A few days ago. She came to me for guidance on a worry of hers. I am _not inclined_ to share it with you.” His voice was grim and Alphinaud felt culpable as the man stared evenly down at him.

“Considering that I am likely part of the problem, that is more than fair.” Admitting fault was the right, but it did little to balm the wave of shame that fell over him. “But I must implore that you tell us where she went, or at least that Yanisleidy is safe.”

“Her safety cannot be assured. But I will tell you where she went. She asked me where she could go to train and meditate here in Mor Dhona. I gave her a general area.” He pointed out the area on a map Toshiie had pulled out, answering their questions about what conditions to expect.

“Thank you, Widargelt.” As he and Toshiie turned to head back to their chocobos, the monk cleared his throat.

“Young man. Alphinaud, was it? One last word.” 

Alphinaud raised a brow, but motioned for the dark knight to go on without him.

“Yes?”

“Yanisleidy is as a sister to me. I give you this information in confidence that your intentions are good.” Widargelt paused, simply watching him. 

He didn’t continue.

The threat was clear.

“I u-understand, Widargelt. You will not be disappointed.”

“Then may Rhalgr watch over you.”

\---

They knew they had found the right area with a clear sign: the monk’s giant blue chocobo tethered loosely to a marshland tree.

“Chiquitin! Where’s your mother?” Toshiie asked, unfurling the bird’s lead from the twisted roots.

Chiquitin chirped before nuzzling against Alphinaud. He pushed the bird off with a scoff, scratching the bird’s neck. He placed a hand tentatively over the bird’s beak, bringing his large head down to eye level.

“Where is Yani, boy?” The chocobo trilled nervously before pacing away, turning to shoot them an expectant glance.

“Let us give chase.” Toshiie nodded and they began trailing the bird, their boots splashing in the shallow swamp water.

Following the dark blue chocobo was not difficult as his plumage clashed with their surroundings, but as the behemoth bird led them down so many twists and turns, Alphinaud began to worry about finding their way back out of this maze. Castrum Centri was in very close proximity, if they took a wrong turn out of the thicket, the worst might come to pass.

When Chiquitin stopped, bringing them to a clearing, he could see the chocobo’s tracking hadn’t been off base.

Yanisleidy was there, fighting off a veritable swarm of colossal hellbenders. The monk was caked in mud and grime with a free-flowing gash bleeding above her eyepatch, her lips a thin line at the exertion. Her brows were drawn as she watched the writhing amphibians before her, dodging their blunt teeth. As they arrived, she glanced at them for a second, before whipping back to them with wide eyes.

“Alph-” She was cut off as one of the beasts swiped at her ankle with their tail, knocking her over with a splash.

His tome and Toshiie’s blade were out in an instant, Alphinaud pulling his quill to summon Carbuncle. The Au Ra charged ahead, drawing on a dark power to pull as many of the Hellbenders to him as he could manage. Yanisleidy was kicking the aquatic lizards while trying to stand, her muddy gloves slipping on the mangrove roots behind her.

The scholar cast a shield over her to protect her from the gnashing jaws trying to crush her legs, before turning some of his attention to healing Toshiie, also fending off a swarm. She finally found her feet again, fighting the beasts again in earnest.

“What are you two doing here?”

“What do you think, Yan?” Toshiie called over, cleaving one of the hellbenders in half.

“You’ve been missing for a sennight!” Carbuncle jumped to the monk’s side, pushing their foes back with a blast of wind before Yani took turns finishing each of them off in turn.

“I appreciate - the concern - but I came here - to be alone.” Her voice was thick with effort, punctuated by her punches. How long had she been fighting before they arrived?

“And look at all the good that’s done you: you’re half dead - in a swamp fighting a bunch of lizards!” Toshiie taunted, a laugh in his tone.

There was no humor to her voice when she responded. “I can - handle myself.”

“Tataru and I were worried about you.” Alphinaud watched her as he spoke, watched her brows furrow further, heard a grunt pass through her grit teeth. “I- Yani!”

Another one of the hellbenders nipped at her ankle and she lost her footing again.

He sprinted through the muck as she fell, casting another barrier on her as he ran. It came over her too late, and Alphinaud watched the back of her head connect with a thick branch with dread.

\---

In a haze of pain, Yanisleidy could barely make out the shape of someone standing in front of her before a wave of soothing magic washed over her, and her eye felt heavy. She could hear… Alphinaud shouting and she struggled to open her eye again. The last thing she saw before the darkness overtook her was the figure of Alphinaud standing before her, casting a spell and kicking at a hellbender while Carbuncle laid waste to another at her feet.

The next time she woke, she was lying on her stomach across… something. Someone? She felt the rhythmic beat of a chocobo’s talons against the ground below her, the rocking movements comfortable as a hand softly carded though her hair, magic flowing from the fingertips.

After a time, she felt herself being moved, lifted by a large figure. She half-remembered groaning a response, and laughs from people who sounded familiar. Through the haze she couldn’t put her finger on who. 

She fell asleep again soon after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Meant to post this yesterday morning, but something came up, so here it is! I'm really happy with how this chapter came out, as writing my friend's WoL was an interesting challenge and writing Widargelt is _very_ entertaining.  
> I just reached Shadowbringers last night and, let me say, the end of Stormblood gave me.... SO much to think about. I have some writings started but I don't know if I will post them as a continuation of this fic when the time comes, or if I will start a collection and post them as one shots.  
> As always, please let me know what you all think! Thank you again for reading!


	9. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No CW/TWs for this chapter.

Yanisleidy woke up aching. Not the stinging pain of a wound slept on wrong, or the buzzing sensation of a limb falling asleep, but a dull body ache with a pounding in her head. She took a deep breath through the nose, scrunching her face.  _ What did I-? _

The sound of a page turning alerted her that, wherever she was, she wasn’t alone. She cracked open her eyes and peered through the crust to see none other than Alphinaud, seated beside the bed reading a book. They were in one of the side rooms at the Rising Stones, she recognized, an infirmary.

She moved to sit up and the scholar’s gaze locked with hers instantly.

“You’re awake!” His eyes looked watery, and she immediately remembered why she had left in the first place, feeling guilty. _ Oh, they really were worried, weren’t they? _

“Yeah, I… What happened?” She rubbed at her eyes.

“You hit your head on a branch when you fell. I healed your wounds as your friend Toshiie finished off the last of the beasts. How do you feel?”

The throbbing in her head continued, deafening in her ears.

“Uh… Good enough.” She sighed before turning to face the scholar again. “Thank you. For helping me.”

“Of course, what are friends for?” Alphinaud didn’t sound angry or upset, which only served to make the monk feel worse. The pounding in her head showed no sign of stopping, and she dropped it into her hands.

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” In a second he was much closer, his hand a grounding weight on her shoulder.

“Yeah, I just…” She picked up her head again, and the room swam. “No. My head’s killing me.”

“Here, let me go draw a bath for you. You’ll rest better once you’ve had a chance to get cleaned up.”

“Yeah, that’s… Thank you, Alphinaud.”

“It’s nothing, Yani.” He was giving her that smile of his. She frowned as he turned.

“No, for-” He was already gone.  _ Damn it. _

She surveyed herself for the first time since waking, taking inventory of her wounds and extremities. All of her fingers were still attached, that was good at least. She remembered being covered in six types of mud, and from the stench coming off her, most of her definitely still was, but someone had taken the time to clean the areas around her wounds before patching her back up. It must have been Alphinaud.  _ Very nice of him. Too nice. _

What Ilberd had said definitely bothered her; it made her question her loyalties. She had left Ala Mhigo, and for what: just to run away? Or to come back with power to overthrow the Empire? And if  _ that _ was her goal, what did the Scions have to do with that? Surely she gained power with them, but by the same token, she was at their beck and call, their best soldier in most situations.

Until now she’d thought of them as friends she worked with toward a wholesome goal, but Ilberd had tainted that idea.

And he tainted it in a way she couldn’t rightly ignore. Yanisleidy put her life on the line for the Scions and city-states on a regular basis and the same could hardly ever be said by them for her.

Well, mostly. The image of Alphinaud standing between her and the hellbenders flashed in her mind.

She groaned.

“It’s ready, Yani. By the way, your friend Toshiie said he was headed back to Camp Dragonhead for the next week or so.”

“Hmm, did he?”  _ That _ made her chuckle. She began to stand and the young scholar was at her side, a steadying hand on her shoulder.

“Please be careful. What’s got you laughing?”

“Of course Toshiie is at Camp Dragonhead. That’s his home away from home.”

“How do you figure?”

“I eh-” She thought about making a lighthearted joke at her friend’s expense, for his choice of lover, but stopped herself.  _ Are interrace couplings commonplace in Eorzea? _ "Not my place to say.” She’d pick someone’s mind about that another time.

“I’m not certain what you mean, Yani, but if it's-.”

“It’s nothin’. Not important.”

They arrived at another chamber where the bath had been prepared, the air comfortably warm.

Alphinaud began, a frown on his thin lips as he helped her to the side of the tub. “There’s not much here in terms of soaps and-”

“It’s more than enough, really.” She had half a mind to begin unbuckling her vest, but thought better of it.

“Are you certain?”

“Baths for the first decade of my life consisted of wading into beast-laden rivers and salt lakes. This is luxury, Alphinaud.”

“Oh, I would not have guessed- Well, will you be alright on your own?” It was clearly an offer out of concern for her wellbeing, but she laughed, blushing, before clutching her head. Alphinaud seemed to realize his unintentional proposition, and looked away.

“No, if I need help, you’ll hear me shout.”

“I-I will leave you to it then.”

\---

_ That was… less than graceful. _

He walked off into the hall, trying not to think about it. Yani was in better spirits, at least, though it would still be a few days until she was in any shape to travel. He leaned against the wall, attempting to resume reading his copy of  _ Crystals and the Twelve: An Unabridged History _ , but found his mind wandering.

_ I need to apologize again. But how? _

She was important to them.  _ No, Tataru isn’t here, this is your apology. _

She was important to him. Martial prowess aside, she was a friend. As much as they needed her help, he-

_ Hm. No. _

It wasn’t right. Nothing he’d come up with while she slept had sounded right either.

A better use of his time would be changing the linens before she got out of the bath, since his mind wasn’t cooperating. He trailed back to the other room, shaking the unsettling feeling as his footsteps echoed in the empty base. As he worked, he thought back to each of their companions still missing, mulling fruitilessly over their whereabouts. 

He heard Yani’s steps coming from a malm away, the slow, patient sound clear in the silence. She appeared in the doorway looking much better than before: clean, hale, and whole. He hadn’t found a spare set of clothes among her things -though he hadn’t looked too hard- so he’d left out a spare set he’d found lying around the supply cabinets. They seemed to fit her well enough, though the pants were several ilms short on her. As he was about to move to her side to assist, she held up a hand.

“I can make it to the bed, Alphinaud, thank you.” She sat carefully on the edge, wincing.

“Are you still injured?”

“No, just aching.” She pushed her back up to the headrest, and he sat on the chair he’d set at her bedside. She was quiet for a time, stretching her neck and shoulders with a practiced leisure, but spoke before he could start.

“I know I said it earlier, but thank you for everything.”

“It was naught.”

“It wasn’t. I remember how many wounds I had ‘fore you two pulled my ass out of the fire, and you made sure to heal every single one." She looked down with a childish scowl. "...As well as knock some sense into me.”

“Well, it was the least I could think to do. We-” He second guessed himself for a split second. “We were worried about you.”

“Going into the wilds to try and fight my worries away wasn’t my best plan…” She trailed off, a sad smile on her lips.

The silence between them simmered, but he watched her carefully. She looked worn and weary, exhaustion clear in the lines of her face.

“It’s late. You should rest for now, my friend.”

“I can grin and bear it for a time. I want to talk to you.” With the determined look on her face, one she often bore, he almost obliged her.

“And I you, but there will be time enough on the morrow. You need time to heal, Yani; my magic can only do so much.”

She scoffed, but laid down, not bothering with the covers. “I... understand. Thank you, Alphinaud. Get some rest yourself.” She put a hand out, and he hesitated for only a moment before taking it in his own.

“I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter this time, but a sweet one I think! It's been a rough week for me so I haven't been able to work on my writing too much. If I can manage it, next week's update will hopefully be a bit earlier to make up for it!  
> I'm very excited about finishing the next two chapters and posting them, to hear what y'all think. But as always, please let me know what you think of this chapter! I love to hear your thoughts, it really makes my day!


	10. Friends II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No CW/TWs for this chapter.

With no windows in the room, it was hard to tell when she woke up, but the plate at the bedside loaded with breakfast staples was as good a sign as any. The scholar was nowhere to be found, a cursory glance at the room showed. She scarfed the food down in record time, not realizing how hungry she had been.

Her head was no longer pounding, and she tested her limits, pulling herself up. She braced herself on the bed frame, duly noting a dizziness when she stood, and a twinge of pain when she turned her head sharply.

She rubbed at her face,a grogginess still hanging over her. Scratching beside her right eye, she realized that her eyepatch was missing.

And had been missing since she woke up yesterday.

She peered around the room, wincing and, in her haste, Yanisleidy knocked a book off the nightstand. The monk began to bend to pick it up, but clutched her head, the pounding resuming in force at the motion. She stumbled forward, catching herself on the table.

"Yan!" With a rush of steps, a set of strong hands caught her by the shoulders, pushing her gently back onto the bed. She looked up to see a face she didn’t expect.

“Toshiie?”

“That’s my name. The kid told me you shouldn’t be up and about.”

“Where is he?”

“He had to step out.” The dark knight crossed his arms before sitting down in the chair beside the bed. “So this is where you go when we stop in Mor Dhona. A fine establishment indeed.”

“Better when it hasn’t been ransacked, but yeah. Welcome to the Rising Stones.” He raised a brow, but said nothing. The room was no longer swimming around her, so Yanisleidy leaned back against the headboard. “So you’re just visiting, right? How was Camp Dragonhead?”

He chuckled softly, clearing his throat. “Fine. Haurchefant is well, as is the rest of the outpost.”

“‘Well’ is the best you’ve got for me?”

“I will not discuss the minutiae of my relationships with you, _child."_ His tone was full of mirth, absent of malice.

She laughed, but felt nervous as the silence settled in, feeling the air in the room sink around her.

"What happened?" Toshiie’s tone was even.

"I needed room to think."

"Room with a hoard of lizards?"

"No, I- I accidentally ran into the lizards.I didn't mean to."

“Yan.” Scolding wasn’t in his nature, but he did it well, his resting features lending to it.

“It was a bad idea, I know-”

He crossed his arms at her again, his brows knitted over the scales trailing his nose.

“Don’t! I know it wasn’t smart.” She forced herself to lower her shoulders, which had creeped upwards as they spoke. The Au Ra simply sat and watched her for a time.

Toshiie sighed.

“As long as you know. I know you have your reasons, but I won’t press if you don’t want to talk.” He sat back in his seat, crossing his legs. "The kid seems good. Sharp."

"Alphinaud?" She looked away. "Yeah. He is."

“What’s his part in this? Besides you working together.”

“He’s… a friend of mine. I think. I… I don’t know, Toshiie. I haven’t been thinking straight for a while.”

“Did you need space from him too?”

“Yeah. Or I thought so.” She scratched the back of her head, noting how long it was getting in the back. “We’ve been sticking together for a couple moons because of... Oh, gods, where to start-” The dark knight shook his head.

“He gave me a short version.”

“Rhalgr preserve him.” She said. “We’ve just been working so closely, it’s hard to know where we stand. If we’re only” She gestured, looking for a better word, but couldn’t find one. “ _colleagues,_ then how am I supposed to know if I’m just being used? And if we’re friends, what’s- what do friends do? For each other?”

“I… I’m not going to answer that. The answer’s different for different people. But I will say this: an acquaintance that you work with? An acquaintance wouldn’t do half of the things I’ve seen him do for you. Pull you out of the swamp and keep you alive? Yeah probably. Personally clean and dress your wounds, watch your bedside? Not so much.”

“I. Hm.” If she felt bad yesterday, her guilt was crushing now, and she sighed. “Okay.”

“Does that help?”

She felt resigned. “Yeah. Thanks, Toshiie.”

“Good.” He leaned forward and gently punched her shoulder, grinning. “Don’t pull a dumb plan like that again.”

She glared at him.

\---

When he returned to the Stones, parcel under one arm and some food staples in the other, Toshiie was sitting in the main hall examining a dagger. The Au Ra looked up as he entered and sheathed the blade, smiling wide.

“Hey!”

“Thank you for watching over Yanisleidy in my absence. Is she awake?”

“She’s been asleep for a while. I spoke with her this morning, but her head started hurting so she knocked out again.”

Alphinaud’s gaze jumped to the hall as he spoke. “I’m hoping that’s simply a turn-of-phrase in this case.”

“It is, it is. She’s been sleeping soundly for a couple of hours.”

“I see.” Placing the food on the bar, he turned to Toshiie “Will you be staying with us for the evening?”

“No, I think I’ll make my way back to Dragonhead. Someone’s waiting up for me.” Alphinaud thought back to what Yani _hadn’t_ said yesterday.

“Oh, is that so? My apologies for keeping you here so long with her, I hadn’t realized.”

“It’s fine, no worries. I wanted to make sure she was alright. If you have no need of me, I’ll take my leave for now.” 

“We should be fine here, Toshiie. Thank you again for your assistance.”

“Yeah, no problem. Watch out for her, will ya?”

“I will do my best.”

The Auri man excused himself, and Alphinaud stood in the silence, unpacking the item’s he’d retrieved from the market. The mender had given him a dirty look for the state of the armor he’d brought the man, and charged extra for the cleaning, but as far as Alphinaud could tell, the garments were impeccably repaired. He grabbed the parcel as he made for Yani’s room, placing it near the door carefully as not to wake her.

She was still unconscious, her striking features softened by sleep. Putting a hand to her forehead and fingers to her neck to check her temperature and pulse, he managed not to jump when she flinched awake, grabbing the hand at her neck.

“G-good afternoon.” Her grip was tight, but not bruising. He watched her eyes flick open, darting around before her gaze finally focused on him.

She released his hand. “It’s- It’s just you, alright. Sorry.”

“There is no need to apologize, my friend. How are you feeling?”

“Much better, thanks.” She still looked disoriented. “Is it really afternoon already?”

“A bit closer to the evening, but yes. If you’re feeling well enough, there’s food in the main hall, otherwise I can prepare plates to dine here.”

“I think I can make the hike, Alphinaud.” Yani’s smirk had returned to her at last, and the scholar shook his head as she pushed herself up, keeping an eye on her as she made her way.

They ate quietly, making idle conversation between the monk’s ravenous bites.

He escorted her back to her room after she stretched her legs for a bit,grumbling about all the bed rest. As she settled in, the silence between them drew longer and he could feel the tension in the room.

“I’m sure you’ve got questions.”

One question burned strongest at the forefront of his mind. “Why did you leave?” _If it was what I said…_

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately. About home.” _Ala Mhigo._ “To say that I miss it wouldn’t be true exactly… but it wouldn’t be wrong either.”

“What do you mean?”

“I grew up on the street of an Imperial-held city. People like Raubahn and Ilberd and Yda… They remember what Ala Mhigo was like before, and they want that. But the Imperials are _all I know.”_ He could only watch as she dropped her head into her hands again, noticing the mottled burn scar on her neck. He remembered when it was still fresh, an angry red that jumped out on her tan skin. They had only just met. “When I came to Eorzea, I spent every gil in my name to have the resistance smuggle me out so I wouldn’t die bleeding out in an alley or worse.”

She seemed to pause, collecting her thoughts. “So when Ilberd asked me why I was sticking my neck out for a country that wouldn’t do the same for me… I panicked. Why _am I_ doing this? What’re my goals?” She sounded so forlorn. Alone. Alphinaud began to reach out to her, but pulled back when she picked her head up, staring straight ahead.

“Until he said that, I just… didn’t think about that stuff. Makes my head hurt. Planning has never been my strong suit. I was just… doin’ good work with good people and that was enough. But is it enough? I’ve been in Eorzea for almost a year and I’ve almost died more times in this year than the rest of my life combined.” Yanisleidy sounded grim, and he asked the only question he could manage.

“Do you regret coming here? Helping Eorzea and the Scions?” He wasn’t trying to bait her anger or disgust; it was only a question.

She looked at him, truly looked at him, for the first time since she’d woken up, and he was struck by how much more vulnerable she looked without the eye patch she always wore. Even in the dim light and with her tattoo, with her injured eye uncovered she looked less like the rough and tumble, unfailable warrior of light, and more like the 17-year-old refugee she was.

“Well, that’s why I left. To answer those questions.” She looked down at her hands, to her bruised knuckles, with a sad smile. “Stupid plan, huh? To fight monsters until I figured out if I made the right choices or not.”

“You needed space to think. Perhaps your choice of scenery was suboptimal, but...”

It was refreshing to see her laugh, but it was short lived as she got serious.

“Working with the Scions has been hard. It’s been hard, and frustrating, and painful, and hard. I’ve gotten the shit kicked out of me more times than I can count, I’ve been disrespected, walked over, and blown off by every kind of person you can think of.” He felt a weight in his chest grow heavier as she spoke, the words gaining more force as she went on. “And y’know what, Alphinaud? Know what I decided?”

He forced himself to speak. “What?”

“It was worth it. It was all worth it. Did I almost die? Absolutely, but I’d do it a thousand more times. I don’t regret a second of it.”

He couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face, and she turned to him, her lopsided smile mirroring his own.

“I am overjoyed to hear that. But what made your decision?”

“Ilberd had me thinking that no one here cared about me. I know that’s stupid-”

“It’s not-”

“-but he really got in my head.”

“His words would not have struck such a chord with you if you hadn’t been given reason to doubt that in the past.” It was his turn to look away. 

Her words were flat. Insistent. “What are you saying, Alphinaud?”

This was important, but he felt so far away from her. He gestured to the bedside. 

“Do you mind if I...?”

“Not at all.” He switched to sitting on the edge of the bed, and she swung her legs around to match him so they sat side by side. Then, he began.

“When Tataru and I were arrested, the night you fought for us-”  
“We fought together, Al-”

He corrected her. “You may have fought for Tataru, but I would not have walked away from that encounter if not for your tremendous efforts.” Alphinaud wouldn’t let her diminish her role in their rescue. “That night, I acted monstrously to you, when you deserved it the least.”

“You were upset, I get it.”

Alphinaud sat up straight, turning to look at her, stunned for a moment when he noticed their faces were only about a fulm apart, her gaze studying him.

_Why did I think this would be easier looking at her?_

“It’s not just that. You may be the strongest ally we-” _Start again._ “You may be the strongest ally _I_ have, but that wasn’t the reason I was worried about losing you that night. You’re-” His voice nearly cracked. He coughed. “You’re my friend, Yani. My greatest friend. This star would be dull without you in it. You are more than capable of making your own decisions and charting your own course of action, but I was afraid... Afraid that something might have happened to you and I would have been powerless to stop it. You’re my friend and I care about you. And I’m sorry for ever making you feel otherwise.” The words flowed like water, but he knew them all to be true.

Alphinaud wondered when he’d decided all that.

She was silent, still watching him. Even in the dim lighting he could clearly see her face, but there was something wrong. 

He was certain it was simply a trick in the shadows, the way her lip appeared to tremble, her eyes a little too wide. It wasn’t until she turned away and he heard a sucked breath that he realized she was _crying_.

He watched as she buried her face in her palms, fingers carding into her short hair. He moved his hand to put it over her shoulder, but second guessed himself again.

 _Now is not the time to hesitate._ He placed his hand on her back and she attempted to sit up straight, hastily attempting to wipe her tears on her sleeve before he could see them.

“Yani, why are you crying?” His words were thunderous in the silent room.

It took a moment for the Highlander to collect herself enough to respond. “It doesn’t usually bother me, bein’ a tool. A weapon to be th-thrown at the nearest crisis. I understand that that’s my job. I’ve made peace with that.” She wouldn’t look at him, staring at the floor and gesturing with one hand, the other crossed and clutching her shoulder.

“It gets overwhelming sometimes when I feel more like an asset than a person. More like a tool than-”

“Than a girl.”

She nodded mutely. They sat like that for a time, as she brought her breathing back under control.

“Do you mean what you said?” Her voice was so low,he almost didn’t hear it.

“I do.” Yani kept her head down, sniffling again. He cleared his throat, wanting to make sure he wouldn’t ruin this moment. “You could put up your gloves tomorrow and walk away from the life of an adventurer, and you would still be my cherished friend.” With her hunched position, he could barely see her eyes glittering with tears again, but he could also see a smile on her lips. Unwilled, Alphinaud watched his hand reach her cheek, lifting her face. She laughed softly, a nervous, ghost of a laugh, and placed a single warm hand over his. It was calloused and rough, but not unpleasant. He ran his thumb over her cheek to wipe away a tear and felt the welt of her scar; the one that followed from her forehead, down through her eye. She blinked, drawing away suddenly. She drew her hand back as well, as if burned.

“What happened?” He leaned in closer, squinting in the dusk. “To your eye, I mean.”

“I-” She froze in place, lost for words, it seemed. She sputtered for a moment, covering her eye with her hand. At the same time, Alphinaud realized just how close he had gotten to the monk, only ilms away. He shifted away from her, giving her space to recover while reestablishing a more modest distance.

“H-have you seen my eyepatch?”

“O-oh! It’s here, apologies.” He paced across the room and retrieved it from the parcel. It was why he’d gone out in the first place, the leather tie had torn when she fell, the rivets holding it together beginning to fall apart. As he handed it to her, she turned away slightly to tie it back into place, and with it, the vulnerability that she’d shown before vanished.

“Sorry, I- Sorry.” Yani’s voice was low again, cheeks flushed at her outburst. “I’m feeling a bit tired, Alphinaud. I’ll tell you about my eye another time.”

“Don’t feel pressured to do so, my friend. It’s not my intention to make you uncomfortable.”

“No, it’s-” She let out a quick breath shaking her head. “It’s not that, I just need some time. You’ve helped me a lot today. Thank you. Really.” She grinned up at him from the bed, and he smiled back.

“Get some rest, my friend.”

“I will, Alphinaud.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! A little catharsis for these two clowns comes at last! I literally just finished this and got my beta to look over it, so I wanted to put it out asap, so early chapter this week.  
> also before anyone says it, I know that salamanders aren't lizards but yan and toshiie Do Not.  
> This one was really tough for me because of some reworkings I did, but I'm pretty happy with the result. As always, please let me know what you think!
> 
> [peggle voice] Friends 2!!!!!
> 
> EDIT: Thank you to shakerin for pointing out that I've mistyped Camp Dragonhead _literally every time it's come up!_ I've got a terrible memory and I always confuse Dragonhead with Camp Drybone in Eastern Thanalan. So, huge huge thank you!


	11. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW/TW: descriptions of eye injury, not gory but stated; very light violence

The journey back to Ishgard was very familiar.

Almost boring, the monk mused.

“So, anything excitin’ happen while I was gone?”

“There’s murmurs of another Dravanian attack on the city, but nothing concrete as of yet. Aymeric’s been beginning preparations. But I’m curious if there might be… hm.”

Alphinaud trailed off, his thoughts taking him on a journey she wasn’t sure she could follow.  _ He’ll announce whenever he’s ready. _

She absently tugged at the flaps of her vest, Alphinaud having been kind enough to get it mended while she was resting up. The leathers weren’t unusable  _ quite _ yet, but were quickly wearing thin in her line of work. Widargelt had been kind enough to give her new threads before she left, as well as a piece of his mind. The garments would need… alterations, but she could figure something out.  _ I’m not wearing those pants. _

They crunched through the snowy highlands for a time in relative silence before he finally spoke.

“The path ahead is familiar enough, so I was wondering if I might be able to ask you a few questions.” Alphinaud sounded unsure, as if he was stepping on eggshells.

“Of course. Go.” 

“What happened to your eye?”  _ Oh, huh. Yeah. _ With more anxiety than she expected, she grasped behind her head for the tie, pulling it apart before shoving the whole thing in her pocket. She blinked a couple of times, adjusting to the light, before turning to look at the scholar again.

She felt a little exposed. The scar wasn’t sightly and neither was the eye, she knew.

“It was an accident on a construction site years ago. Just west of the city, near Porta Praetoria, if I remember. One of the Imperial machines they used to grind metal broke and a piece got me as I was walking past. Couldn’t afford to see a chirurgeon, so I just tried to keep everything clean. It wasn’t ‘til I finally took the bandages off that I realized I’d lost most of my sight.” She couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually  _ told _ this story.  _ Maybe to the free company? Maybe not. _

“Most of your vision? Not all of it?” His dark brow was raised as he watched her.

“Well, if I close the left one, I can see bright lights, or a big change in the shape of the light. But otherwise, it’s blind.” She did it as she spoke, the formless orange light her only visual as she squinted the other eye shut.

“Do you cover it because it troubles you?” 

She looked down at him again, shrugging.

“No. Well, not exactly.” 

“Not exactly? Then why cover it at all, Yani?”

“I… well,  _ it  _ doesn’t bother  _ me.”  _ She hesitated. ”I just don’t really like the attention it draws. I don’t want pity or intrusive questions.” Spotting the mortified look on his face, she hastily corrected. “From strangers.”

"Still, mayhaps I should not have pried. It's not something I'd like to make a habit of."

Yanisleidy elbowed his shoulder gently. "Do you think getting to know your friends is prying?"

He frowned again, his pale skin almost blinding in the sun. "When you've worded it that way, perhaps not."

She chuckled. "Good, then you know where we stand."

A wave of emotion washed over his expression, darkening it in thought. He seemed to be weighing some sort of choice. She waited patiently, shoving her hands in her pockets.

"Does it bother you to have people touch your scar?"  _ I did have a… bad reaction the other night. _

"...I dunno. Hadn't thought about it." Alphinaud had a wonderful talent for picking questions that stumped her.

"You haven't?" It was his turn to laugh now, arms crossed and looking up at her with incredulousness.

Yani scrambled to defend herself. _ "Look, _ I can name the number of people who've done it on one hand." She leaned toward him and held up her hand spread out, pointing to it with her other hand. 

She pointed at her thumb. "Alphinaud Leveilleur.” 

He nodded patiently, watching her with an expectant expression. Endearing.

She threw her hands up, standing up straight. “That's it."

He suppressed something between a cough and a laugh, the points of his ears crimson.

"That's… quite telling, but it doesn't truly answer my inquiry: did it bother you when I touched your scar?"

"No, I…” He really wasn’t going to let her go on this one. She was very aware of the way her gut constricted when she considered the possibility of him touching her face again. His hand was so  _ soft _ . “I'm not sure."

He didn’t say anything, seemingly waiting for her.

“It wasn’t... unpleasant, or anything. I just…” Every phrasing she could come up seemed minced in her mind. “Nobody’s ever touched my face in a way that- who wasn’t fighting me or… healing me.”  _ If this line of questioning goes any further, I’m going to need lessons in tact.  _ “I was just surprised.”

“You deserve better treatment than that, Yani.”

She scratched beside her good eye before remembering the placement of her tattoo, stopping. “Heh, it’s what I’m used to, it’s not a big deal.”

“I’m inclined to disagree.” He sounded strange. Upset, almost.

“Yeah? And-” A flash of movement caught the corner of her eye and she felt a familiar feeling in her chest, a raised awareness as she felt something approaching from Alphinaud’s side.

“Watch out.” A wolf pup lashed out from the side of the road, and she shoved the young scholar out of the way in the knick of time. As it reeled back from the failed strike, she connected a punch with the side of it’s angular head, not bothering with her weapons when time was running thin. With a flurry of quick hits against the beast, it whimpered and growled, retreating back into the snowy countryside. It had been a couple days since she last fought and the Echo had given her such last-second insight; it took her a moment to recover, clutching her head.

“Are you alright?” She turned back to the scholar, who was on the ground, looking astonished. “Didn’t mean to push you over. I wasn’t really watching my strength, sorry.” She offered him a hand up,and he took it readily. She made sure not to overpower this move, lest the smaller Elezen fly into  _ her _ next.

“Thank you, I’m no worse for wear, though a little dusty perhaps. But better dirty than mauled by such a beast. A debt I owe you.”

She crossed her arms, huffing. “There are no debts between us, Alphinaud. It was a rabid dog.”

“A rabid dog that would have  _ grievously wounded _ me if not for your quick reflexes.” He wasn’t so bull-headed these days, but occasionally he wielded his iron-will like a cudgel, and he swung it in full force now. “I  _ insist _ .”

_ Fine, let the boy have his debts. _ She pulled her eyepatch back out from her pocket as they approached Camp Dragonhead. Tying it carefully, and readjusting it back over her right eye, she noticed Alphinaud was staring at her again.

“What? Did it bother you?”

“That’s not it, it’s-” He stopped suddenly, looking away.

“It’s...?” She raised a brow.

He stumbled forward once more, still avoiding her gaze. “You look very different without the patch. Would you ever consider keeping it off for any period of time?”

“I’d consider it. Depends on who’s asking.” 

She waited for a response.

A response that never came.

The unspoken question clicked in her head a beat later, and her eye widened. 

“Are  _ you _ asking, Alphinaud?”

“...Only if it would not bother you overmuch.” The scholar wasn’t looking at her, and Yanisleidy was half tempted to lean over and get a good look at his face. He'd surprised her again. The monk reached back to remove the tie once more, chuckling. 

“If there’s something you want of me, my friend, you need only ask.”

He looked back at her, smiling brilliantly, and she tried her best to wrangle the strange feeling bubbling in her lungs.

\---

She’d kept her eyepatch off for the rest of the day, despite some odd looks from the members of House Fortemps upon their return. It was hardly a new feeling, but one she hadn’t dealt with in a couple years. The sputtering from Emanellain was amusing, at least.  _ Did he think I wore it for show? _

The remains of the Scions supped together, Tataru switching between tearful exclamations about the monk’s safety and waxing about how pretty she looked without her eyepatch, further bringing the monk under the magnifying glass. So when she and Alphinaud finally sat down for her first lesson since her stunt, she finally began to relax.

But as they began, she noticed the scholar staring at her out of the corner of her eye. Yanisleidy looked up from the desk at him.

“Something on my face?” She was already wiping at her cheek before he could answer, before remembering her eye. “Or is it bothering you?”

“I-” He coughed. “No, you are fine. Pardon my stare.”

“I can cover it up easily enough.”  _ The patch is in my pocket, after all. _

“No, you- your scar does not bother me in the slightest, Yani. You just… look different.”

_ You said that earlier, Alphinaud. _

“Did I? S-sincerest apologies, my friend.” She’d thought out loud and now they were both scrambling. “All I meant was-”

“Look, if it’s distracting, I don’t want to-.” Alienating him was the last thing she wanted.

“No.” The word was firm, brooking no question. “If I have discomforted you with my gaze, I must apologize, but please do not feel you have to cover it up for my sake.” His blue eyes were striking, and she glanced away, suddenly sheepish.

"Does it ever hurt?" He asked with unbridled curiosity. Lesson firmly derailed, she put the missive off to the side, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes in thought.

"It hasn't hurt in years. Sometimes  _ I  _ hurt ‘cause of it, but that's just from a lack of sight on that side." Her joke landed for once, and Yanisleidy was treated to a quiet laugh from the scholar. A pleasant sound, she didn’t hesitate to admit. She opened her eyes and almost fell out of her chair.

Alphinaud's smiling face was closer than she expected. His large blue eyes with their long dark lashes were on her, unblinking. And he was watching her with a reverence reserved for… Well, for someone else. Anyone but her.  _ Why is he looking at me like that? _

She sat up in her chair again, hoping he did not notice the color on her cheeks. He'd taken note of something at least and pushed his own seat closer to the desk, straightening the papers there.

She took a steadying breath before starting again. “S-should we start from the top of the letter?”

“That sounds like an excellent suggestion, Yani.”

She wasn't sure she stumbled half as much in their  _ first lesson _ as much as she did this one. The words on the page did not swim or swirl more than usual, but she found herself focusing on all the wrong things: the way the scholar's earring jingled when he tilted his head, the way his white hair caught the light, the way that, even when he stopped talking, he never truly closed his mouth, his lips barely parted.  _ Rhalgr strike me; what is wrong with me? _

"Alphinaud, I'm sorry to have wasted your time, I just can't- I'm out of sorts tonight. From the journey."

He gave her another  _ blindingly _ sweet and patient smile, and she struggled to keep her expression even. "Worry not, my friend. The cold in Coerthas is enough to put anyone out of sorts. But you should know you have improved greatly since we began."

"I- Thanks. That’s kind of you to say."

Alphinaud pressed on. “It is the truth, Yani.”

Gods, she needed to be out of this room. "I'll see you in the morning."

Yanisleidy did not hear his response as she made her hasty escape, and she cursed the fluttering in her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This one has been a long time coming, so finally getting to share it is so exciting! I don't have much to add in terms of commentary this week, but I hoped you liked this one! >;^)
> 
> For those of you wondering what kind of tool might break the way I’ve described, here’s an image of what I'm imagining: (no blood or gore in the link! it's a picture of broken safety glasses) [ here ](https://i.imgur.com/9gVp3TS.jpg)
> 
> And for anyone wondering what Yanisleidy looks like in game, here's her [ARR Outfit](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EhXueT5WAAIH5ZZ?format=jpg&name=large) and her [HW outfit](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EhXueVXWAAcZKxf?format=jpg&name=large). They are a little on the potato-side of quality, so my apologies.


	12. Drinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No CW/TWs for this chapter.

The air in the Forgotten Knight was warm, almost stifling, compared to the swift winds outside. Tataru flagged down the barkeep for drinks while Yanisleidy snagged a table for them. The Lalafell sat down with a flagon for each of them, pulling her chair up close.

“So is there any particular reason we’re here? Or are we just drinking for drinking’s sake?” _If so, not my choice for fun._ There were so many things on her mind, the impending journey Alphinaud had planned for her and Estinien to find Lady Iceheart at the forefront.

“I just wanted a moment with my favorite warrior of light before things get intense, as I have a feeling we won’t have the time for a while.”

“Aye, fair enough.” The monk eyed the Lalafell, waiting for… something.

“And I have some questions for you.”

“There it is.” Yani smacked the table, rolling her eyes. “I knew you didn’t drag me out here for no reason.”

Tataru wasn’t flustered by the accusation, simply giggling quietly behind her hand. “My motives may be ulterior, but they are in your best interest, I assure you.”

“I sure hope so, considering this mulled wine hasn’t killed me yet. So what do you want to know?” A variety of topics flashed in her mind, but she waited for the secretary to speak.

“How are you holding up? I heard some of what happened from Alphinaud, but I wanted to see for myself how you’re feeling.”

“I’m well now. Honest. I was grapplin’ with some… doubts. In myself, mostly.”

“If you ever want to share those doubts with me, I will always be happy to listen, Yanisleidy.”  
“You can call me Yan, if you’d prefer. Don’t need to be so formal.”

“Yan… that’s very interesting.” Tataru had a twinkle in her eye, but seemed to let it go, sipping her wine. “Another reason I asked you out here was that I wanted to thank you again for fighting on my behalf, and for everything you do for us. I’m sure you could guess where we’d be without you, but-”

“You and Alphinaud need to quit it with that. Any more and my head will swell."

"Then let me say this: it's great to have you back, Yan."

"It's good to be back. I feel a lot better." She still felt like a fool, to have doubted her friends and their cause.

They sipped their drinks, and Yanisleidy sat back in her chair, looking out over the bar's patrons.

"How goes the weaving? I remember you said you picked it up before we went on the run."

"It's going well! I'm working on some personal projects. You'll see soon enough. A little mammet told me you picked up goldsmithing!"

"Who-? Nevermind, I’m sure you’ve got your sources.” The small woman simply grinned. Yanisleidy sighed. “Not willingly."

"No? I would have thought the idea of crafting accessories would be to your liking."

"Not- Well, yes. You're right in that regard.” She pulled at the sword earrings she’d picked up at the Jeweled Crozier last week. “But it's an expensive hobby to get into. I don't have that kind of gil."

"Then why learn it in the first place?"

The monk shrugged. "Lost a bet."

"Oh? Do share."

"To one of my companymen. She bet that if I could make it an entire day without getting hurt, she would pay me ten thousand gil."

“That notorious, huh?”

“I guess. I don’t think I’m quite as accident prone as she thinks.” Yanisleidy ignored the burn of the scrape on her forearm from morning training and took another drink.

"How'd you end up getting hurt?"

"She sicced a Carbuncle on me in the final bell. Nearly killed her for it." Tataru doubled over laughing at the monk, a tinkling sound.

"And she made you learn _goldsmithing,_ of all things?"

"She had a large commission to fill of beginner pieces and needed a hand." She scoffed. "Honestly, if Anastasia had just asked me outright, I'd be less pissed with the whole thing."

They spoke at length about their respective trades, the difficulties and benefits, before settling into a comfortable silence.

"Alphinaud apologized, right?" Tataru’s words broke her from a people-watching daze.

She knitted her brows, confused. "What for?" 

"For yelling at you. After our trial."

"Yeah." She watched the Lalafell wearily. “Can I guess you had something to do with the second apology?”

"Only a nudge." She swirled her drink in her cup. “I left the finer points to his discretion. Which is not to say I coached him, I merely righted a wrongful assumption he’d made.”

“Meaning?”

“He really thought telling you off was an acceptable apology.”

“It was fine. I understood his intention.” She wasn’t watching Tataru, but peering into her own cup.

“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself of that, Yan.”

She looked away from the Lalafell, gesturing sharply. “His heart was in the right place, that counts for something.”

“Yanisleidy Roselle.” The secretary dropped her cup on the table loudly.

“Look- I- Look!” Tataru simply stared her down, which did little to ease the tension in her chest. “I _was_ upset, but I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.”

“Why? You never tolerate that from anyone else.”

“We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Is that how you think friends are supposed to act?”

“Is it not?” She tried not to feel self conscious as she spoke. “This is all fairly new for me.”

Tataru looked at her with pitying eyes and Yanisleidy grimaced. 

“We’ll work on that, you and I. Don’t want to see you hurting because you don’t know how friends behave.”

“If you insist.”

“I do.”

Silence dropped between them for a time, but Yanisleidy was too caught up in her own thoughts to notice. Speaking with the citizenry of Ishgard about Hilda had her feeling… overly conscious of a certain emotion blooming in her chest. _Maybe I could ask Tataru._

"I have a question for you, Tataru. Strange question." Yanisleidy put down her cup, but scratched at the lip of it where the wood grain was starting to split. "Purely… uh…" _What’s the word..._

"Hypothetical?" The Lalafell offered.

"Yes. That." She furrowed her brows, looking away. "In Eorzea, is there any sort of stigma against… how to put it…" The way the nobles described the scandalous nature of _the Mongrel’s_ heritage echoed in her mind. She started over. "Eorzea in general, not necessarily Ishgard, is it strange to search for... partners outside of your race?"

Tataru’s face flashed with curiosity. "Partners… Do you mean couples?"

"Yes, that's- yeah." The question was somewhat mortifying, but she fought the sinking feeling.

"Such pairings are not very common, but not unheard of. In more… conservative areas, like the Black Shroud, you may receive some harsh looks, but most are accepting of such relationships."

"I... see." Above them, she absently heard the door to the bar swing open on the balcony, a cold burst of air sweeping through the tavern. Tataru looked over to the sound, but with her back to it, Yanisleidy didn’t bother.

It was something to chew on. She knew what she was feeling. Putting a name on it in her mind made it _very real_ , however, and real things carried with them _real consequences_ when acted upon. _Is this what I'm really feeling? Is it worth pursuing?_

Tataru’s voice broke her thoughts. "Hypothetically."

"Y-yes. Hypothetically." She forced herself to say the word, speaking slower than usual.

"And in this _purely_ hypothetical scenario, is there any reason in particular you might ask me that?"

"How do you mean?" _Oh, Tataru already knows, doesn’t she?_

"Would this be a hypothetical circumstance where you are considering courting someone who is not a Highlander like you?" The maniacal smile on her face was all Yanisleidy needed as confirmation.

"Courting is a bridge too far, I think. But yeah."

"Hypothetically." Tataru was absolutely beaming over the edge of the table.

"Hypo- Alright, I'm not saying that damn word again, let’s cut the bullshit." She slammed her mug down, and leaned over the table. "I have feelings for someone, yes!"

The admission would be relieving if not for the fact that Tataru looked like the coeurl that got the canary. She pressed onward.

"Anyone I know?"

The monk dropped her voice. "Yes. You already know who it is, don’t you?"

“I do, but I’d like to be sure.”

“If you think you’re right, Tataru, you’re right.” She folded her arms, smoothing the hairs standing on end. “I won’t give you the satisfaction.”

Tataru’s voice dropped as well. “It’s Alphinaud, right?” 

“Yes. Who else would it be?”

“There’s no shortage of strapping men and women we’ve met who may have grabbed your attention, one can never be too sure.”

They _did_ have some dashing allies. “True as that may be, no, I’ve got honest-to-Twelve feelings for him. Him only.”

“There’s no accounting for taste…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She gave the woman a scathing look.

“Nothing! Just that if you had asked me two moons ago who you had feelings for, you would have received a very _different_ guess.”

“I’m not sure I want to know.” She downed the rest of her drink, cold by now. “So do I just tell him?”

“You could. He’d probably be quite receptive to it.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Yanisleidy.”

“What? I’m asking for real.”

“He’s over the moon for you as well! Can you truly not see that?”

“Bullshit.”

“He may act foolish sometimes, but he’d bend over backward for you if you asked. I’m sure of it.”

“Kid, you can’t slouch around here, are you going to buy a drink or get moving?” The barkeep’s voice cut through the quiet din, and while most weren’t bothered by the interruption, curiosity got the better of the monk. Her eyes followed the line from where the barkeep stood to… Her brows shot up. 

Alphinaud was standing on the balcony looking like a gazelle being hunted, eyes wide looking at the man who’d addressed him. The scholar looked at Yanisleidy, and she beckoned him over, gesturing to an empty seat at their table. _If he already heard how I feel, then this might be easier than expected._

Rather than approach her, however, Alphinaud simply stood there, his cheeks crimson from the cold and lips a thin line.

“Well?” The barkeep asked him again.

The Sharlayan turned back to the man. “P-pardon the intrusion.”

Without another look or word at anyone, he rushed out of the building.

Yanisleidy began. “Do you think he heard-”

Tataru cut her off, a hand on her own cheek. “He must have heard most of it.”

“That might be a good thing, though, right?”

“Not with that reaction.”

“You’re probably right.” Yanisleidy stood. “I’ll go talk to him.”

A small hand on her arm stopped her, and Yanisleidy looked down. “Maybe you should give him some space. He seemed flustered.”

“Did he?” The monk crossed her arms, mulling over his expression again.

“What did _you_ take away from that response, Yan?” Tataru erupted in a flutter of limbs, and Yanisleidy reeled, bent out of shape herself.

“I- I don’t know! You’re the one lecturing me on _how friends work!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This chapter was a fun one! And by fun, I do mean I rewrote it from the ground up after I'd written more of this fic because Yanisleidy's personality changed drastically in the first few chapters I wrote. This section originally contained an Alphinaud perspective that didn't flow quite right; so forgive me, you'll just have to wait until next week to get a closer look at whats on his mind :^)  
> Behind the scenes things aside, please let me know what you think! Thanks again!


	13. Talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW/TW: blood/injury mention

Alphinaud was avoiding her.

Well. Not really. 

Kinda.  
There’s only so much avoiding one can do when you’re on a cross-country trip to negotiate peace with the Dravanians, but he was trying his damnedest. Alphinaud wasn’t the kind to shirk his responsibilities though, so when the circumstances called for her input, he consulted her as always. But unlike before, he wouldn’t linger around her any longer than necessary. No, their conversations were now short and polite. 

Detached. Despite her best attempts.  
It wasn’t particularly hard for him to dodge her, as their traveling companions, gruff and stubborn Estinien and understandably apprehensive Ysayle, were not people with whom she would want to discuss the gulf that had come between them, nor her feelings for the small scholar. 

No, it would be a time before they would be able to speak one-on-one; before she could suss out what exactly he’d heard and what his feelings were in return. But the situation was beginning to grate on her.

The appearance of the Gnath eikon Ravana did not alleviate the situation either.

\---

"I am not certain I see the merits in this plan. Even with all parties immune to tempering as they are, to be willingly ensnared by the Gnath-"

Estinien interrupted him with a huff. "It's reckless, aye. But I'll admit it's the best option we've got, boy."

"You're… you're right, but I can't say I'm pleased with this arrangement."

"Neither am I." The dragoon's sneer held no bite, the words falling flat as they waited for any sign of their companions' victory.

For all that he'd distanced himself from her, Alphinaud was worried about Yanisleidy. That worry was at least _part_ of his reasoning behind the distance: she could handle herself, and his hovering would do the monk no favors.

The larger part of his reasoning was what he'd overheard.

It shouldn't have sliced at him, it shouldn't have nailed him in place that evening to hear her admit she held feelings for another. 

But it did.

He hadn't heard everything, hadn't _intended_ to hear anything at all, but he'd heard enough: no deliberation, she planned on telling the object of her affections post-haste. Direct, as always. In fact, he had hardly a reason to believe she hadn't already done it.

On any other star, Alphinaud knew he might hear such a declaration and feel naught but joy and hope for his friend in her romantic pursuits; but that knowledge didn't stop the feeling of an icy lance piercing his chest, stealing his breath and rest in one fluid, confusing motion at the Ala Mhigan's admission. He felt a myriad of swirling feelings: anger, betrayal, and…

He wasn't sure what else.

So he took a step back from her. With everything in disarray as it was, the last thing they needed was to be at odds with one another. Whatever this… feeling was, now was _not_ the time to face it, he felt.

Yani’s chocobo was, however, very perceptive. Chiquitin must have noticed his rider was absent and had made a show of inserting himself into Alphinaud’s personal space to cope. Or so the Sharlayan assumed.

Now separated from their other mounts, his large blue head sat in Alphinaud’s lap uninvited.

He scratched below the bird’s barding absently, and Chiquitin whistled in response.

"They have been gone for quite a time."

"A ruse like theirs takes time to set up well. Positions for all Yanisleidy’s allies to take while she and Ysayle bait the trap, drawing enough attention to themselves to prove they are a suitable threat without overwhelming themselves before what will surely be a grueling fight. I would not be surprised to hear they were only just reaching the primal’s den." 

"I see…" Estinien's military expertise was stunning as ever. As much as he did not see eye to eye with the Ishgardian on many matters, Estinien's insight for martial affairs was practically unparalleled.

He would need to work on his own tactics and strategy to be prepared for any future threats. With half a mind to do so at the moment, he quit his ministrations and reached for his grimoire; perhaps a review of the equations within might offer some edge to him in the battles ahead. Opening it to a random page, any thoughts of study were obliterated by a letter folded within it.

Using letters as bookmarks was something he did on occasion, but this had not been one of them.

No, the wrinkled, somewhat torn page folded in quarters in his grimoire had not been put there by himself. The messily scrawled _A L_ was very familiar, however. Incredibly familiar.

Alphinaud screwed his eyes shut for a moment before opening the letter tentatively.

_Alphinaud._

_We're busy now. But let's talk soon. I want to know what's on you're mind._

_Y R_

Grammar mistakes notwithstanding, the message surprised him. He had not expected her to reach out to him in such a way, nor so soon. Sneaking letters into his things was not her style.

Which meant his tactic to keep things normal between them while he sorted out his internal affairs was backfiring impressively if she was resorting to _this_.

"Ugh." He dropped the letter back where it had been and shut the tome with more force than necessary. The chocobo in his lap sniffed at the book innocently.

"What? Is something ailing you?" Estinien's gravelly voice nearly made the scholar jump out of his skin, distracted as he was.

"No, it is naught of consequence." Looking around them, then over the horizon to the Gnath stronghold, Alphinaud sighed. "Do you believe-"

It was distant but unmistakable, the guttural cry of an enormous entity just on the other side of the encampment.

"The fight has begun in earnest now."

"Indeed it has… I sincerely hope their preparations are enough." Knowing she was fighting against an unknown entity like the Gnath god put extra weight on the letter she left him.

For a second, a fear tore through him: if something were to happen to Yanisleidy and Ysayle in their fight, what would it mean for their journey for a peaceful resolution? For the citizens of Ishgard? What would their future look like if the warrior of light _failed_?

And what would he do with himself, having rebuffed his best friend for the better part of a moon on hearsay, if she did not return?

"Do you think they are alright-"

Estinien’s gauntlet smacked against his visor as he clutched it. "I'll not hear anymore mewling about the girl, Master Alphinaud." The annoyance was clear in his growl.

To say he could feel the heat in his face was an understatement. His ears were _burning_. 

_I was not-!_

"Relax, boy. Listen closely." He glared at the dragoon, but did as asked, breathing deeply through his nose.

"Do you hear them?"

"Hear what? The battle?"

"Yes." The dragoon spoke slowly, head hanging forward. "Swords clashing. Likely that Au Ra she invited. Did you feel that rumble?"

"Yes."

"That is likely she: fending off enthralled Gnath, if one had to guess." From the way he spoke, a sort of admiration clear in his voice, Alphinaud considered for a moment that the Ishgardian was testing his own mettle in a way, even if it was simply checking the sharpness of his senses after being forced to the sideline. Estinien continued on for a time until the sounds of battle finally ceased.

After a few minutes, Alphinaud stood on the hill, watching for any sign of their war party. However, after a several minutes of pacing, his Ishgardian companion began to huff, so Alphinaud sat down again, forcing himself to pick up his tome once more.

It was nearly another bell before they caught sight of the group.

They returned. All of them. Battered, bloody, and bruised, but alive. 

"It took you long enough. Is the deed done?"

"Yes. Thanks to Ysayle, the ei- primal couldn't draw on the power of their crystal supply. The rest was short work for the best free company in Limsa Lominsa." Yanisleidy was at least half joking, but the crowd of mixed faces behind her cheered regardless.

"Good. I was beginning to worry that I'd have to hear more of Alphinaud's sickening fretting."

"I’m glad- I beg your pardon!?" Alphinaud flinched back, feeling his face warm.

"Nearly losing his wits with worry; like a maiden for her sweetheart, he was."

At least he wasn't the only one embarrassed. Yanisleidy tried to hide her laugh behind a rust stained hand, but to no avail: he did not miss the way her cheeks turned crimson, nor the way her orange eye flicked to him for a moment, twinkling.

He looked away.

"O-once your companions have recuperated and decided on a course back to Ishgard, we should consider heading back to Anyx Trine _posthaste_ in order to continue our journey." He fixed his attention on the group, attempting not to let his gaze settle on the Ala Mhigan. "Does anyone need their wounds tended? I will be happy to assist in any way I can."

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Ysayle glaring at Estinien and giving him a gentle shove, but the dragoon merely shrugged, shaking his head. _Still at each other’s throats? I’ll need to keep an eye on them._ Several people stepped forward and he turned his attention toward them.

\---

Lady Iceheart's hand connected weakly with his shoulder, and he didn’t bother pushing back. "You can't simply say things like that, Estinien. He clearly looks up to you."

"Then he'll need to grow a thicker skin." The dragoon grumbled.

"That was unkind, what you did to him. For all his experience and intellect, Alphinaud is still but a boy."

"From the way he acts when she is around, you'd think he was the one with the bum eye between them." Estinien sighed. "Disapprove of my methods all you wish; I care not."

“Hm.” Ysayle looked past the dragoon. “Where _is_ Yanisleidy? She was just here.”

“She’s with-” Estinien started, but looking out amongst the crowd, the girl’s green hair was nowhere to be found. _No, there she is._  
“Sitting on the floor next to the Lalafell.” He jutted his chin out. She was chatting idly with the small woman, carefully peeling the fabric tape off her knuckles.

\---

“Ruvi, how did I do?” Yanisleidy questioned the Lalafellan scholar, taking stock of her bloody digits.

“You performed much better than some of our last fights together; you’ve definitely improved as far as evasion goes.” Ruvi spoke animatedly, her short blue and pink hair framing her face.

“Good. My drills are paying off then. How was the journey?” Yanisleidy watched Alphinaud work his magic on Toshiie, repairing a slash down the Au Ra’s leg while chatting idly. _Did he find the letter?_  
“Without issue! Worst thing we had to deal with were Aemilia and Anastasia’s complaints.”

“A fate worse than death, then.” Ruvi laughed at her jab and the sound caught her friend Aubert’s attention.

"Yan, I was wondering where you got to!” The melodic voice of her bardish friend was unmistakable. She could hear the Wildwood Elezen winding up to rib at her and braced herself. “First Toshiie says he's seen you and you'd gotten injured, and then a letter shows up at our door to meet you in Ishgard to take us to Dravania. You’ve been quite busy lately!" 

"Yeah, it's- It's complicated, Aubert." He laughed, a few strands of black and white hair falling from his turban. 

Their Miqo’te red mage strolled over to them, looking relatively unruffled from their fight. “So you’re just going to keep the juicy details to yourself? You wound us.”

“Aemilia! That’s not how it is, there’s just- just a lot. I’ll tell everyone together next time I’m at the house so I don’t have to repeat myself.”

“Or perhaps we can just ask your friend to enlighten us?” Alphinaud, sensing a shift in the conversation, looked up at Yanisleidy first, then to Aemilia addressing him.

Ruvi hopped to her feet. "Yes! We didn't get a chance to introduce ourselves before!"

Alphinaud looked over at the Lalafell, offering her a polite smile. "No, I'm afraid we did not, but any friend of Yanisleidy is a friend of mine. I am Alphinaud Leveilleur, it is a pleasure to meet with you all."

The Lalafell stood and curtseyed. "Ruvi Ibi, nice to meet you!"

The pale Sun Seeker spoke next. "Aemilia Marcia. Well met."

“Aubert LeBlanc, at your service.”

“You and I already acquainted.” Toshiie said, looking around. “But where’s- Anastasia!?”

“I’m right- I’m right here!” Sitting up from here she laid against a rock, the dark skinned Miqo’te summoner groggily looked around.

“How did you fall asleep that quickly?” Aubert asked, a mix of awe and astonishment in his voice.

“Didn’t sleep last night.” She turned to Alphinaud, the blue stripe of paint below her eyes stark in the afternoon sun. “Anastasia Kilmora, happy to meet ya.”

The group took turns bombarding the elezen scholar with questions about their journey, and he answered with much more diplomacy and detail than she would have, all while tending to their wounds dutifully.

When he finally got to her, she offered up her hands, a bloody mess of broken skin. His gaze asked a question.

“Ravana’s...scales-? Ravana’s body was very tough, and my new gauntlets kept sliding off my hands on hit. Rubbed my knuckles raw even through the wraps.”

“I see.” He turned her hand over in his and she stopped a hiss from leaving her teeth. ”Perhaps some adjustments can be made to them to prevent this shifting? This looks quite painful.”

“Maybe.” He was so gentle as he examined her injury, his eyes hiding below his dark lashes.

Alphinaud began his spell, holding her hands delicately in his, and she watched on for a moment before Aubert spoke.

“So, Yan, you two have been on this journey for quite a while. Would you say you are well-acquainted?”

“Who? Us?” She jerked her head at Alphinaud who, despite being busy reciting the spell, looked up at the bard for a second before refocusing.

“Yes.”

“I would say so. We’re quite close.”

“Oh?” Ruvi’s voice carried a strange tone. Alphinaud coughed, but he continued his work.  
“Of course, anyone traveling together for such a long time would get closer, wouldn’t they?” The whole group was watching her now, and she had a feeling there was something she was missing.

“Yes, yes, they would.” Toshiie rocked back on his heels, stretching his now healed leg.

She felt the warmth of his healing fade and looked down at his handiwork: her knuckles were still bloodstained, but fully healed, the skin no longer torn open. She flexed her fingers quickly, feeling none of the stinging from before.

“Good as new. Thank you, Alphinaud.”

“Of course, Yani.” She saw heads turn out of the corner of her eye.

“...So, Yanis, will you be needing us for any further excursions? From the sound of it, you have quite a journey left ahead of you.” Ruvi, thinking ahead as always, straightened her skirt as she spoke.

“That’s a great question.” _That I don’t have an answer to._ “Alphinaud? I can ask some of these folks to stay with us. They’d probably come in handy."

He stopped, thinking with a hand below his chin. "Perhaps. I am concerned, however, that bringing such a force may be seen as an act of war by the Dravanians, nullifying our message of good intent."

"That… That makes sense. You're right. Maybe…” She was spitballing. “they could wait at Tailfeather and we could send word if we need ‘em?"

"...Let me discuss this with Estinien and Ysayle. I’m certain their insight will be indispensable."

The Sharlayan holstered his tome and walked off to the pair, and Yanisleidy turned her attention back to her companymen.  
“So if he comes back and says some of us should stay, who’s staying?” Toshiie started. “I’ll start: I’m in.” His eagerness to help was appreciated.

“There’s one,” Yan laughed. “can I get two more? I’ll make it up to you.”

“Oh, I’ll stay!” Ruvi waved. “I want to learn more about your _friend.”_ The way she said the word was almost threatening, but Yanisleidy didn’t have time to question it as Aemilia, Anastasia, and Aubert shared looks.

Anastasia spoke first.

“Not it.”

“Wha- then why are you even in this discussion?” Aemilia bristled at the Moon Keeper.

“For kicks, mostly. I’ll be at the company house crafting if you need me again, Yan. Now which of you is heading back with me?”

“I’ll go back with you.” Aemilia sighed.

“Well, that decides it.” Yanisleidy stood, looking up at the Elezen bard. “Coming with us, Aubert?”

“Of course! You don’t need to ask me twice.”

Alphinaud approached the group with Estinien and Ysayle in tow, a decision in his eyes.

“We have all come to an agreement that there will likely be some danger in the coming days that, while perilous, we would be all the better for your accompaniment. Would some of you be willing to join us on the road ahead?”

“They’ve already made their minds up, Alphinaud.” Yanisleidy shrugged as Aubert leaned on her shoulder, Ruvi elbowing her knee. A chorus of confirmations followed, and the Sharlayan grinned.

“Good! Then we will be happy to have you with us.”

_I’m really not going to talk with him anytime soon, then._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this right now feels like that [image of a car drifting into a highway exit going 60 miles an hour](https://imgflip.com/s/meme/Left-Exit-12-Off-Ramp.jpg), as this one is HOT off the presses!  
> Half of it was beta-read, half of it was not because I accidentally exploded what was originally a 1700~ word chapter into TWO chapters totaling over 4600 words (the second of which is still needs a lot of work), so like I said, hot off the presses!  
> There's a lot of introductions in this chapter, so I hope it's not too confusing! Aemilia, Anastasia, Aubert, Ruvi, and Toshiie are my free company friends, and while they won't be around for _all_ the remaining chapters, they'll be hanging around for a little, so I hope you like their shenanigans! Tags will be adjusted accordingly.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and please let me know what you think!


	14. Talks II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No CW/TWs for this chapter.

Yanisleidy's friends were quite pleasant. Unique in their own ways, but pleasant all the same, as well as reliable. Each of them blessed with the Echo, they were a force to be reckoned with, carving a path through Sohm Al more efficiently than he’d expected. Dodging blows and taking turns barking out calls for incoming attacks and positions, they worked as a well-oiled machine, though not without quarrel.

“Yanis, stop charging ahead, you’re going to get hurt again and I  _ will not _ heal you.” Ruvi scolded the Ala Mhigan as they tore their way through the twisting caves of the mountain. Yani turned back to the Lalafell, bouncing on the balls of her feet, a crackling energy surrounding her.

“I- yeah. Sorry.” The monk wore an expression he often saw, a soft focus: drawn brows and shifting eyes. Far away and present in the moment all at once. “I was caught up in my-.”

“Form changes. I know, just watch it. No showing off.” He watched on with fascination as the small woman’s familiar, a blue-green  _ fairy, _ the likes of which he’d never seen, put a blessing over the party that stitched their wounds slowly, not unlike some of his own single target spells.  _ I wonder if Ruvi would be willing to discuss the finer points of her summon at a later time. Her command of arcanima is astounding. _

“Let Toshiie take their attention and then do what you do best, Yan.” Aubert chimed in, knocking another arrow on his bow.

She nodded. “Right. Right.”

“That goes for you too, Aubert! Don’t think I didn’t see you antagonize the wyrmlings in the last chamber!” Ruvi shook her fist at the Wildwood and he blanched, laughing nervously.

“I’m not certain I know what you’re talking about, Ruvi. It must have been a trick of the light.”

“Yeah,  _ I’m _ a hrothgar. Do it again and I will eviscerate you.”  _ Perhaps... I should put extra care into the wording of my request. _

“Alright, quit arguing back there, we’re coming up on another group.” Toshiie called. Alphinaud kept pace as the group pulled ahead, Estinien and Ysayle keeping up the rear.

\---

As they settled into camp for the night in the Churning Mists, there was a jovial mood over the group. Tough as their journey had been so far, they took the challenges in stride. They were no worse for wear, despite having to double back to Gridania for assistance from the Elder Seedseer. Their second pass though Sohm Al had been less arduous, and now that they knew the area near Moghome was a safe resting place, the group was relaxing after their exertions. Ysayle was off, preoccupied with the moogles, and Estinien was patrolling the area, requesting solitude.

“So! Yanis!” Ruvi’s voice was clear over the quiet crackling fire, legs splayed out in front of her, leaned back on her palms. “I see you finally learned how not to get your ass kicked.” Her tone was impressively polite despite the harshness of her words.

“Yeah, doing a sight better than the last time I saw you.” Toshiie eyed her, a quirked brow and a smirk on his sharp features. “How many hellbenders was it?”

“Hellbenders? The giant salamanders outside of Mor Dhona?” Aubert inquired.

It was clear to see Yani wasn’t particularly pleased with this turn in the conversation, as her voice dropped. “Yeah.”

“You got your ass handed to you by  _ hellbenders?”  _ Ruvi was incredulous, green eyes wide.

The monk’s voice dropped further, scratching her neck. “There were a lot.”

He could see Ruvi winding up to verbally assault his good friend.

“A veritable swarm.” Alphinaud chimed in, trying to relieve some of the mounting pressure. “And had Toshiie not joined my search, I am not certain Yanisleidy and I would have emerged from that situation as unscathed as we did.”

“Hah, yeah. Yan, do you remember what you said when I pulled you off your chocobo?”

“...No?” Yani watched the Au Ra for a moment blankly, clearly thinking hard. “Everything from that first day kind of swims in my head. But you two... laughed at me for somethin’, didn’t you?”

Looking back, Alphinaud remembered the exchange, letting out a surprised laugh. “I had forgotten all about that!”

“What? What did I say?” Yani was watching him now, the fire casting a red glow on her tan features. Or so it seemed.

“If you don’t remember…” Toshiie was teasing her now, but Alphinaud couldn’t suppress his laugh. 

“Out with it, Toshiie!”

“I was pulling your unconscious body off Chiquitin and you had the  _ gall _ to  _ wake up _ and say ‘ _ Get your hands off me, bastard. I can take care of myself.’”  _ His impression of Yani was absurd, managing to hit a pitch  _ higher _ than her own, all while snickering. “You couldn’t even hold your head up, much less walk!”

That made her laugh, clutching her side. “That didn’t happen! Did it?” She turned to Alphinaud suddenly, her eyes searching his face. She looked so unguarded, so open, and the Sharlayan felt that icy dread fill his chest again. He turned to the fire.

“Indeed, it did.”

“Damn. Alright.” Alphinaud saw Yani rub at her right eye out of his peripheral vision and flinch from the unexpected contact.  _ She forgot she took off her eyepatch, didn’t she? _

“Oh, so you believe it when  _ he _ says it, but not me?” Toshiie sported a wounded expression.

“Yeah.” 

That caused the rest of the group to laugh as the Doman man huffed, crossing his arms.

Aubert reclined a bit, absently plucking at the strings of his lute. “Yan, when did you stop wearing your eyepatch, by the way? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without it.”

“Recently.”

“Why?”  _ Oh. _

“Well-”  _ Oh no. _

“You look cute!” To his relief, her Dunesfolk friend cut in. “We get to see more of your little face!” Ruvi pushed at her own cheeks as she spoke.   
“My face is bigger than yours.” Yanisleidy cocked her head. “And I wouldn’t call a scarred-over eye ‘cute.’” Her deflection made him frown, and Ruvi seemed to catch on, to his chagrin.

“You  _ do  _ look cute! That eyepatch of yours always makes you look too serious. Wouldn’t you agree, Alphinaud?”

Despite expecting it, the question threw him off and he responded with less grace than he’d have liked.

“I- I believe that Yanisleidy looks remarkable regardless of her choice of eyewear. Tis’ her choice at the end of the day, however.” It was the truth, but knowing that did not lessen the heat on his face, nor the gnawing hollow in his gut.

He dared not look for her reaction, lest the embarrassment overwhelm him.

Ruvi giggled, but nodded in agreement.

“Well said.” Aubert agreed. “The eye patch makes you look older, I think, so to see you like this is very refreshing.”

Toshiie, now laying on his back, picked his head up to look at the Ala Mhigan. “How old are you again?”

“Seventeen?”

“ _ Gods _ .” Toshiie threw an arm over his eyes. “How did we pick up a child soldier, Ruvi?”

“I don’t know but we can’t seem to get rid of her.”

_ “Hey!” _

Alphinaud held back another laugh as Yanisleidy fumed at her companymen. Conversation soon fell into a lull, and he remembered his questions from earlier as he spotted the Lalafellin scholar shifting her pack, her tome jutting out.

“I have some inquiries about your summoning technique, Ruvi, if it would not be an inconvenience.”

The Lalafell cocked her head, but nodded slowly, pulling out her codex. “Can’t say I’ll be able to answer your questions, but I can try. Though maybe we should take this conversation away from the fire.”

“Don’t want to lull us to sleep with your academic musings?”

“Do you ever close your mouth, Aubert? Come, Alphinaud.”

\---

As Alphinaud and Ruvi walked off, Yanisleidy stretched her arms above her head, leaning slowly from side to side. Toshiie’s eyes were closed, but she could tell he wasn’t sleeping. Aubert, on the other hand, was watching the skies and plucking a soft tune from his lute as he marveled at the wondrous landscape around them. It  _ was _ rather breathtaking, even she could admit.

“Enjoying the sights?”

“You have no idea, my friend.” He didn’t look at her as he spoke. “Traveling with you and the rest of the free company is really something else. I cannot begin to describe it. Seeing Coerthas has been...”

Aubert paused for a long time, and she remembered back to when they first met, at Toshiie’s behest when she first joined the free company. Extremely talkative at the time, he’d told her about growing up in Gridania and his love of archery. Somewhere in the memories, she recalled a mention of wanting to see more of Coerthas.

“Do you think about Ala Mhigo, Yan?”

“Huh?”

“You’re from Ala Mhigo, right? Do you think of home much?”

“Yeah. I… Not really a home, but I think about it sometimes. Not a lot of time to think in this line of work.”

“Not a lot of time, or are you trying to not think about it?”

She knew he didn’t mean to, but Aubert’s words cut and she wasn’t surprised to find they rang true. She was guilty as charged, fleeing from her old life without as much as a second glance.

“Well, I came to Eorzea to escape the Garleans. Excuse me for not wanting to think about the shit I ran from.”

“Do you care about Gyr Abania?”

She furrowed her brows, crossed her arms. “Of course I do. Plenty of innocent folk there, same as anywhere else.” Across the way she could see Toshiie’s eyes were now open, a nervous finger rubbing at one of his horns.

The bard started again with a curious tone. “Don’t you think you owe it to-”

“Aubert, I think that’s enough.” Toshiie spoke up, sitting up from his reclined position. “Yan’s got a lot on her plate right now trying to resolve one war. Last thing any of us need on our minds is the Empire.” She watched Toshiie as he spoke. She knew he hailed from Doma, and heard the situation there sounded just as bleak as Ala Mhigo, but she couldn’t guess what was running through his head.

“Fair, fair, I was just curious about her next course-” A hard look from the Au Ra shut the Elezen down, and Aubert shifted uncomfortably in his spot. “Well, I have other, more light-hearted questions, at any rate.”

Yanisleidy scrubbed a hand over her face.“Oh. No breaks today, then.”

"Certainly not. We are all happy to help you in your assignments here, and I think we are all have our own reasons for tagging along, but I can’t help but wondering if we’re all here -at least partially- to find the answer to one central question-"

"I'm not getting any younger here, Aubert." Toshiie cut in. 

"Alright, alright.” The bard turned to her with a wicked grin. “When were you going to tell us you have a little boyfriend?"

“He’s not my boyfriend.” She squinted at him. “Not yet.”

“Not yet?”

“But you do like him.”

“Yeah. Did I- Is it obvious?”

“It is. But you’re not together?”

“No. Haven’t had a chance to tell him. But he already knows, I think.” Toshiie and Aubert shared a confused look, and she gave them the short version of what happened at the Forgotten Knight with Tataru, and the two men nodded along, shaking their heads by the end of it.

“So what I’m hearing is that you just need a moment alone with this kid? To talk to him?”

“To see if he returns my feelings, yeah.”

“That’s- that’s not in question.” Aubert laughed, and she watched over his shoulder as Ruvi closed her tome, Alphinaud speaking animatedly with her. She watched the Sharlayan with a smile as Ruvi responded; watched him stiffen, nodding seriously.  _ Hm? _

“What makes you think that?” She hadn’t had a chance to speak with Alphinaud yet. She knew they were friends, and he respected her and her work, but personal relationships were another matter entirely.

Toshiie sat up on his elbows, huffing. “Because unlike you, the two of us each have two perfectly functional eyes.” He pointed to his own glowing yellow eyes and she looked over at Aubert’s mismatched black and white eyes.

“That’s adding insult to injury, don’t you think?” 

As if on cue, Ruvi and Alphinaud rejoined the circle, the Lalafell dropping down on Yanisleidy’s left, and the young Elezen on her right. Ruvi was in high spirits, though Alphinaud seemed a little shaken. “You keep good company, Yanis! It’s only a matter of time ‘til we make a scholar out of you too.”

“A matter of decades maybe.” For as much as she knew lessons were helping her, she was by no means a learned woman.

“You’d pick it up quick. The basic theory is easy.”

Alphinaud made a thoughtful sound beside her. “I agree that the basics of arcanima are very not complex, but some of the later theorycraft is… fairly advanced.”

“But you can ease into the more complicated equations, you don’t start there. You don’t need to be an academic to do this.”

“I agree, but-” She felt bad cutting him off, but the two of them were overwhelming her.

“Ruvi, I- I don’t even know what equations are.” Various sounds of disbelief and laughter rose from the free company, but she soldiered on. “I’m sure it’s real interesting stuff but I don’t think I’m cut out for it.”

“You can do anything you put your mind to, Yanisleidy.” Alphinaud said, crossing his arms.

“Maybe. But I’ve been putting my mind to being very good at punching for the past year.” 

“Besides, wouldn’t it be kind of ridiculous, for both the Scions  _ and _ the Free Company to have two scholars?” Toshiie joked.

Aubert laughed. “It does seem a little much.”

“What are you gonna do instead, then?” A taunt clear in her voice, Ruvi stood, looking down at Yanisleidy. “Take up conjury?”

“Maybe.”  _ That’s not a horrible idea. _

“Wait, wait ,wait, no! I see that idea building steam in your head; do  _ not _ take up conjuration!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm late folks! Been a hell of a week! Working on some commissions and driving 8 hrs on friday took a lot of my week from me, so I've been working as furiously as I can! Was originally gonna make this one double long with the next chapter as well, but honestly it isn't ready yet and I'd rather finish it up well than rush it out.  
> I hope you all enjoyed our FC's antics, and while they'll be out of the picture for a little bit after this, they'll be back for some moments I think you'll enjoy.  
> As always, thank you for your patience, and thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think in the comments!


	15. Talks III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No CW/TWs for this chapter.

Their meeting with Hraesvelgr was finally in sight, it would be just another night before the weather allowed them to call the great wyrm.

So they were all a little tightly wound.

With their group safely escorted to Zenith, Yanisleidy asked her companymen to head back to Ishgard at Estinien and Alphinaud’s behest, to help hold the line there until their return if things didn't go well come morning.

Ruvi had given her choice words of… encouragement before she left, while Aubert and Toshiie had wished her well in their own ways. Voicing a desire to head to Camp Dragonhead, Yanisleidy wouldn’t be surprised if the dark knight was going to offer his assistance to a certain member of House Fortemps.  _ I’m sure they’ve been missing each other. _

The ruined plaza just outside Zenith was to be their resting spot, and though they were all nervous to varying degrees, it worked in their favor. The anxious, buzzing energy between them led to a camaraderie they had yet to achieve: Ysayle and Estinien were actually getting along, working together on menial tasks without bickering or complaints.

She just wished that energy extended to her and Alphinaud as well. His polite distance was beginning to drive her mad and she was planning on doing something about it; the note she’d left him a week or so ago be damned.

A low voice broke her from her thoughts as she unpacked their mounts.

"The boy is distracted.” Estinien stood before her, backlit by the setting sun.

She glanced in Alphinaud’s direction as he made his way down the hill to find firewood. “Aren’t we all?”

“You two are friends, are you not? He's just as like to walk into a horde of dragons as he is to actually find kindling on his journey. Watch him, will you?"

She looked up at Estinien, opening her mouth to defend Alphinaud, before really taking a look at the Azure Dragoon. Even with his face hidden behind his visor, Estinien could not hide the way his shoulders tensed when he spoke of the young tactician meeting a grizzly end.  _ He cares in his own way. _

"I'll keep my eye on him."

Estinien nodded curtly.

She hopped down the hill, spotting the Sharlayan again quickly. Following the scholar at a wide distance, Yanisleidy feigned an interest in firewood in case he noticed her. The whole thing troublingly reminded her of her childhood, tracking him covertly as she was.  _ Like a petty thief. _

Their group’s personal squabbles notwithstanding, there was a lot riding on their meeting in the morning. Knowing Alphinaud, he was turning over all the details: talking points, backup plans, and the like. Everything that made her head spin.

"Gods, I'm glad you're around." She muttered under her breath, picking absently through some shrubs. Were she to have survived the coup in Ul'dah alone, she wasn't certain how far she'd have gotten on her own. If she’d have stayed in Eorzea at all.

She panned the area and caught a flock of dragons on a course to collide with her dear scholar and decided to route them. Calling their attention without netting his was easier than expected, absorbed as he was to his task.  _ Estinien was right on all fronts, I guess. _

Dispatching them was quick work, but one of their claws found a lucky purchase on her arm, tearing a long, shallow wound there. She tied a quick bandage over it before continuing her tailing, keeping him in sight as best she could. She cleared out another group before all was said and done and returned to their makeshift base, pretending to have helped Ysayle with the meal preparations. The scholar strolled into camp with a self-satisfied smile none the wiser, arms full with his haul of wood.

They all worked for a time on their own tasks: Alphinaud and Estinien tending to the fire, Ysayle to the food, and Yanisleidy to their mounts once more. Chiquitin seemed to get along well enough with the other birds, whistling happily at the sight of her. Unloading the piles of gysahl greens for them was not normally taxing, but the cut on her arm stung and ached at each movement. With no adrenaline to mask it, the pain was just annoying now.

Estinien clapped, his gauntlets making an awful racket as they connected. “Our 'great explorer' has finally lit the fire.”   
“Is it ready for the pot?” Ysayle asked.

Alphinaud responded first. “Yes. Many thanks for your patient assistance, Estinien. I am not certain I would have been able to signal Ysayle in the first place without your instruction.”

“Couldn’t tell good firewood apart from a pile of wet leaves, then? Hah.” She could hear the amusement in his voice.

“I would have gotten it done if you hadn’t, Estinien.” Yanisleidy shouted over to them, and the dragoon laughed.

“At least one of you has survival experience.”

“Such experiences simply weren’t present in my upbringing. The pampered son of a Sharlayan dignitary didn’t think he needed to know such things.”  _ Huh. _ The scholar rarely spoke of his family besides his twin, or anything of his past. Alphinaud was always looking to the future.

"Oh? What did  _ he _ deign to learn, then?"

“My twin and I were the youngest students ever accepted into the Studium, excited as we were to match our wits with scholars and philosophers. Or I was, at the very least. Alisaie wasn’t nearly as enthused, if memory serves.” The excitement in his voice was refreshing as he bragged to the dragoon, but there was a twinge of sadness to it, one that only grew as he continued.

“But... So proud was I in my achievements, I failed to see mine own ignorance, my shortcomings… everything that led to the Scions downfall.”  _ Ah. That’s where this was going. _

Yanisleidy could hear the clinking of a spoon against the stewpot as Ysayle spoke.

"You are not the only one guilty of such ignorance, Alphinaud; we all are. How many men lay down their lives, never knowing what it is that they fight for? Never questioning that which they have been taught to believe? Only through meeting Hraesvelgr did I see the truth past my ignorance, and though I have committed terrible deeds in the name of this truth, I’d rather sin in pursuit of peace than live a virtuous lie. ”

Yanisleidy was fully distracted from her task now, leaning on her tremendous bird and watching the conversation unfold before her. The two Elezen men sat on stumps beside the fire, and Ysayle kept watch on the pot. She could see Estinien’s lip curl under his visor, but he kept silent as Alphinaud spoke first.

“If this journey has taught me anything, it is the importance and-” He looked down at his gloved hands. “-and difficulty of holding to one’s convictions in the face of failure… of striving always to replace one’s ignorance with knowledge.”

“Then applaud yourself for making your way, Master Alphinaud. At your age, I was but a fool swinging a spear, with scarcely a thought in my head. If you are tackling this now, then perhaps you will not end up where I am now, struggling to acknowledge the misconceptions I have been laboring under for years.” To see Estinien express himself so… genuinely and without belligerence was nice. Watching Alphinaud watch the man with an inspired gaze was a treat as well, though Ysayle shot Yanisleidy a look that she barely caught. The Elezen woman jerked her head over to call Yanisleidy to the circle with a smile.

Yani pulled the last bushel from the saddlebags and it slipped from her hand, and she made a quick move to grab it.

She caught the head of gysahl greens with her off hand and immediately regretted it, clutching her bicep in pain. She offered the leaves to her steed and rubbed at the flesh gently, hoping she hadn't made a scene.

Entering the circle, the monk happily accepted a bowl of stew, thanking Ysayle before digging in with the others.

Unsurprisingly, the discussion quickly descended into  _ another _ tense discussion about what would be done if peace could not be brokered in the morning that Alphinaud deftly broke up as she wolfed down her share of food.   
They all fell quiet after a time, trading anxious looks at each other and the stars above their heads.

Alphinaud, finishing his food with manners she'd come to expect but could never emulate, broke the silence first after taking a good look at her. She hadn’t dodged his studious gaze after all.

"Yani-Yanisleidy, you're hurt." He stumbled over her name, oddly. It had been ages since he’d done anything like it. 

She tried to wave him off, cursing her lack of sleeves for once.

"Just a little cut, it's nothing I can't handle-"

"You shouldn't have to handle it. Here." She caught Ysayle smirking in the corner of her vision as Alphinaud unwrapped the grimy bandage from her arm. He tisked at the state of the cut, dirty as it was from her involved fighting style. 

"You must needs be more careful, Yanisleidy. Last thing we need is for you to be fighting off an infection of the blood or worse."

"Is that a real th-" The question felt stupid and she hadn't even finished it, cutting herself off.

"Yes, blood infections exist and they can be quite dangerous." She listened carefully as he spoke at length about the symptoms and causes and continued his work studiously, using a potent smelling solution to clear the wound. In a final motion, he grabbed her arm with one hand to steady it and placed the other gently over the wound. She could hear him recite the spell under his breath, one she'd heard at least a dozen times before but watched raptly all the same. His focus was solely on her injury, and she smiled at the passion with which he worked: the way his brows knit, the tilt of his head. His magic was warm and soothing and familiar, flowing into the area in steady waves before subsiding as he finished. 

When he withdrew, he smiled at her, an honest-to-gods smile before he caught himself and shifted back to a polite mask. It made her feel hollow, almost angry, when he smiled with his old smile: the one reserved for meetings and dignitaries.  _ Not for me. _

It was so frustrating, especially since he'd dropped the mask more than once while the free company was around. He only put it up when it was just the two of them.

Relatively. She looked up in time to notice Ysayle and Estinien examining their surroundings with sudden interest.

As they prepared their camp beneath the stars, Yanisleidy had a half a mind to set her bedroll beside his, to force his hand. Either he'd stay and talk with her or he'd move his things and that would be an answer in itself.

_ Fortune favors the bold. Though if I fuck this up it'll probably be unfixable afterward. _

Returning from seeing Estinien to the first night watch, Alphinaud froze when he saw what she'd done, her bedroll close, but not unreasonably so, to his.

She watched him think for a second. "I can move if you want."

"No." He seemed dazed, examining the whole scene before speaking again. "No, please. Arrange things to your preference."

"Did-" She felt nervous, but pressed on. "Did you get my note?"

"The one in my grimoire?” She nodded. “I did."

Alphinaud sat down on his bedroll slowly, taking painstaking care of removing his gloves before shifting to fix his hair to sleep. She sat beside him on her own, cross legged, and began working at her shoulder pieces. Everything about this situation felt familiar, but the tension was suffocating.

"Can we talk now? I... understand if not. A lot goin’ on." 

"... Do you think it wise for us to do so?"

She offered him a weak laugh. "Wisdom is not really one of my skills; I say things, and sometimes they’re good. I just want to know what you’re thinking."

He seemed to be weighing options in his mind, and she felt a sinking weight settle in her gut.  _ Tataru and the others seemed so sure he felt the same… but… this doesn’t seem right. _

"I want to speak with you about this, Yani. I truly do. But my thoughts are somewhat preoccupied with our meeting come dawn."

"Would this not relieve some of that burden?" Before he could argue, Yanisleidy pushed forward. “Even I can see that I’ve clearly put a weight on you with this. I want to do everything in my power to fix that.” She watched the Sharlayan tie his hair up once more, no braid or hairpiece, before turning to her with an exasperated look.

"What would you have me say, Yanisleidy? Any conversation we have here would be to your benefit, not mine. Discussing this matter will not ease my mind anymore than it will upset us both, I believe." He was speaking in such a roundabout fashion, she almost didn’t register the subtle rejection. She flared her nostrils as a wince, looking at her lap with a steadying breath.

"If that's how you feel, then just say so. I'll not bother you if you want nothing to do with me." She pulled the silly little dog pin off her vest, noticing cracks in the enamel.

"That's not- No.” Out of the corner of her eye she could see him shake his head and lean in her direction. “Yani, you're my friend, and I want you to be happy."

"But?"

"There is no 'but.' My fragile feelings are not something I want to have come between us."

He was speaking with such surety that she almost took the words at face value.

Before realizing that he wasn't making any sense. To her at least.

"What's- What are you _ talking _ about?"

"I… I feel rather embarrassed admitting this…"

"Take your time, Alphinaud."

"I did not mean to eavesdrop that evening at the Forgotten Knight."

"Just as well."

"Is it, Yani? Hearing what you said… twas' more upsetting than I could fathom, so surprised was I by your declaration."

_ Oh. _ "I… Okay. Alright." The weight that had been sitting on her shoulders that finally settled in her chest was painful, but she sucked in a deep breath and put on her best brave face, one she was very accustomed to wearing, turning to face him to bear the rest of what he had to say.

"I cannot explain why your words unsettled me so, as you are my dearest friend, your happiness and aspirations quickly becoming just as important to me as my own. But when I…” He shook his head. “Hearing that you bear feelings for another was excruciating.”

“Bear… hold on.” She sat up stock straight now, staring at the scholar with wide eyes. “Hold on, hold on.”

“Alphinaud, who-” She started, but her heart was beating hard in her chest, pounding in her ears as she processed his words. She pushed a hand through her hair as he looked up at her, a concerned look in his dark blue eyes.“Who do you think I’ve got feelings for?” 

He blinked at her once. Twice. Then furrowed his brows.

“I just presumed that you-” Alphinaud’s words were measured, but Yanisleidy cut him short.

“Actually, nevermind, I don’t- that’s not important. It’s you.”

The scholar froze, tilting his head. “I beg your pardon?”

She leaned down toward him, the weight in her chest lifting as she smiled, her face absolutely burning. “I was talking about you, Alphinaud.”

He ran the numbers so much quicker than she did, recoiling in shock, crimson blooming across his pale skin.

His voice was so low, “You have feelings  _ for me?” _ His hands hovered in midair as he spoke, and though her own were shaking from nerves, she grabbed them. Alphinaud startled at the motion, but did not pull his hands away. She could feel the stark differences between their hands, his seemed so soft, and hers so rough and calloused.

“Yes. I do.” Scratching the back of her head, the Ala Mhigan dared to look him in the eye. “If you’ll have me. I’m not the brightest, or very p-”

“Yani, don’t say such things. You’re- you’re brilliant.”

She chuckled, looking down. “That’s kind of you to say.” 

He only grew more frustrated, it seemed. He huffed at her, tugging lightly at her hands, and Yanisleidy looked back at him.

“It’s true. I would not say so were that in question.”

They simply watched each other for a moment before the situation well and truly settled in, their sidetracking finished for now. She swiped a thumb over one of his unmarked knuckles, loosening her grip.

“So? A gil for your thoughts, now? Since I’ve uh... clarified mine.”

“I…” She could see him going through it all in his mind, different flickers of emotion passing on his face. Neither of them had stopped blushing for some time now. He pulled a hand away to scratch at his cheek. “I… feel for you as well, but I will need some time to think, i-if that is acceptable to you.”

“Take all the time you need, Alphinaud. I’m not going anywhere.” A nervousness snagged in her chest again, and she found words spilling out of her. “But don’t feel pressured to return-”  _ If he’s not attracted to me, then- _

“Yani.”

“Right, right. Sorry. Take your time."

They separated awkwardly, both chuckling and looking away. They laid down on their respective rolls, the starry sky above them twinkling clearly in the windy sky. The monk tried to take advantage of her newfound peace of mind to meditate, to slow her racing heart.

“Yani?”

_ Meditation can wait. _

“Mm?”

“You were right.”

“How?”

“I do feel relieved.”

“Me too.” She put an arm over her eyes.  _ Rhalgr preserve, me too. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Half-tempted not to write any notes here and just leave a :^)
> 
> But not tempted enough! Thank you for reading as always!!! This chapter has been a rollercoaster! Reworked and split into like 4 different chapters, and then reworked AGAIN because of reasons. I've been adjusting the chapter count accordingly, but as its may seem, this is not the end for these two! We still have unresolved tension!
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments, and if you want to chit chat about whatever or look at some of the art I've been doing for WoLtober, check out my twitter below!
> 
> EDIT: My brain won't let me write the next chapter, so I wrote [something else!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27187387) Now this part of a series!


	16. Leads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No CW/TWs for this chapter.

A familiar voice shouting. What was it shouting? A strike against steel, tearing at the metal. What? Who? 

Tears. Falling down her face. And his face. His too.

Yanisleidy woke with tears in her eyes, her heart pounding in her chest. She was clutching her pack to her chest for dear life, an old habit. It was the first time she’d done it in months. She pushed it off and sat up, looking over the group. Alphinaud was asleep on his bedroll beside hers, turned over and tangled in his bedding. She could see Estinien some distance away taking his own rest, still in his armor. Ysayle, sitting on one of the broken pillars of the Four Arms, glanced her way and nodded, but did not move from her watch. Too far away to notice her tears. _Good._

Yanisleidy rubbed at her eyes, taking slow, deliberate breaths. Her pulse began to slow, and she caught sight of the sun reaching over the horizon.

The Echo _blessed_ her with realistic visions of peoples’ past, but it also made her dreams more vivid, much more lifelike than they used to be.

Never in a good way.

_May as well start my morning warm up..._

\---

_Well, that certainly changes everything._

Nothing could be simple, but sometimes they were simpler than he expected.

What a fool he was, to try and throw away everything they had built over a misheard assumption. It almost made him laugh, and perhaps he would if not for the climate they were operating in. For all the overwhelming joy -though tempestuous joy it was- he felt at Yani’s confession, he had no time to devote to thinking of the budding bond between them.

No, his thoughts were scattered to the four winds: of the peaceful resolution to the Dragonsong war; thoughts that lay shattered on the floor, destroyed in one swift motion by their disastrous meeting with Hraesvelgr; of the future of his Ill-advised and calamitous Crystal Braves, or what remained of them that hadn’t been turncoats from the first; of the future of Ul’dah, still in turmoil from the disastrous coup.

Loathe as he was to admit it, Estinien was right: there was naught to be done for their cause now; bloodshed would be their only option to move forward. Knowing this did little to soothe the stinging guilt he felt at seeing Lady Ysayle’s faith in tatters.

And it seemed he wasn’t alone in that either.

Yanisleidy hadn’t spoken much with Ysayle one-on-one that he had borne witness to, but she defied Estinien’s wishes all the same, stopping to talk with Ysayle for a few minutes while they were all still reeling. Alphinaud remembered the Dragoon barking at her to move along, to leave the heretic behind, and Yani had sniped back at him.

_“You’ve waited this long, you can wait a minute more.”_

Both men had recoiled at that. Yanisleidy’s expression was frightening, one rarely used, and even more so on allies. He hadn’t listened in on her conversation with Ysayle, but he could tell when she returned to them that it had not gone as anticipated.

Now, they would need some form of transport to make it into Nidhogg’s lair, and they knew just where to find the best engineers for the job. It would be back to Ishgard for them, and if the Gods were willing, he’d have some time to think along the way.

\---

Traveling back to the city was more arduous than expected, a brutal crosswind tiring out their rental steeds much quicker than they had hoped. A stop for the night at Tailfeather was in order, and the birds sang for it.

Alphinaud didn't pay much mind to Yani and Estinien's dealings, though he was half aware that Yani may still have wanted to review some documents with him to practice her reading. No, it wasn't until he heard a deafening whistle from the chocobo stables that he decided to see what the fuss was about.

"Chiqui-wiki, relax!" Yani's voice was unmistakable. "I'm not leaving you here, look."

He rounded the corner of the pen and leaned against the banister to watch. Yanisleidy had removed Chiquitin's saddlebags and barding, leaving the bird looking decidedly plain. In her hands, however, she held a large saddle. Unlike the one she'd had before, this saddle bore two seats and two pairs of stirrups.

Chiquitin reared his head back again, a nervous chatter in his caw.

"Do you need a hand?"

Yani turned to him, a smile on her face, and nodded. He felt it, the same feeling he'd had so many times before, a tightness in his chest. 

"Could you keep him calm while I saddle him up? He always gets like this with new barding." He approached the two of them as she spoke, tugging at his gloves.

"I will try my best." She placed the bird's lead in his hands, and he brought the beast's head down close to his here he could offer it some pleasant pets. "Where did you get such a thing? I did not think double saddles were common."

Yani set to work right away, taking advantage of the window of calm he'd afforded her. 

"They aren't. Haggled with a couple folks for one they had sitting around here. Not too many birds get to this size, I guess." Yani glanced at him as she went about it. "He's really good around you, huh?"

"Is Chiquitin not like this with others?" Alphinaud grabbed a nearby carrot and offered it up to the chocobo earning him a pleased trill.

"He's not bad, but he's not good like this. My little bird's got a bit of a temper like me, I guess." He watched Yani duck to thread the straps below the bird, readjusting the placement before tightening them to a comfortable level. "How's that, Chiqui?"

Alphinaud let the lead fall from his hand and the bird twisted to look at his new leathers. Alphinaud was surprised when Chiquitin swung his head out toward him, and he ducked instinctively, only to feel the reins swing back into his hands.

Yanisleidy stared back and forth between the two of them with an astonished look.

"What?"

"Betrayed again, now by my own chocobo." Alphinaud stared at her, quirking a brow. "Chiquitin wants you to ride him. To test ride."

"I sincerely doubt that- oh, watch-!" Interrupted, Alphinaud was pushed by the chocobo's head toward its side, and the scholar looked up at Yani with an exasperated expression.

She gestured with her head, putting her hands on her hips as she walked away. "Humor him. He'll keep you out of danger, he just wants to go for a little- _hey!"_

Alphinaud stifled a laugh as Chiquitin caught the collar of her vest with his beak and tugged her backward, the garment half pulled off in the action. He gave her privacy as she fixed her clothes but turned back in time to see her shoot the chocobo a dirty look, pointing aggressively.

" _What?_ You wanted _Alphinaud_ to ride you, I don't see- Oh, wait, I figured it out."

"He wants us both to ride." He mused.

"He wants both of us to ride, yeah."

Making to hand her the lead, Chiquitin made a fuss again, pushing his head into Alphinaud's shoulder. He looked up at Yani with a bemused smile.

"Have you some interpretation for that?"

He watched her have a stare down with her bird, the scene absolutely comical despite her seriousness, before she sighed and pushed past the Sharlayan.

"Hm?"

"You're taking point. Chiqui-wiki doesn't want me in charge."

"You wish for me to lead him?" He turned to her as she put her foot in the stirrup to mount up. She froze.

"No, I- You can do whatever you want, but Chiquitin wants you to take the reins."

“I see.”

Yanisleidy pulled herself up, settling easily into the dip of the second seat, before offering him a hand. He took it and the horn, pulling himself in front of her. After a moment of adjusting the reins, they set off.

Yani was right. Despite his insistence that Alphinaud take the reins, Chiquitin seemed content to chart his own path down the dirt trails of the forest, taking a leisurely pace through it all. Alphinaud tried not to flinch in surprise when Yani’s hand found his waist after the chocobo stumbled on a change in elevation. 

“Too much? I can hold the saddle.”

“No, not at all. ‘Tis fine.” Wind whipped his face but his ears felt warm.

“If you’re sure.” He couldn’t turn to face her, but he heard the Ala Mhigan sigh. “This has gone to hell again, hasn’t it?”

“The war? One might argue that its status hasn’t changed from that for quite a time. But this setback has been… disheartening to say the least. And just when our suit for peace looked so achievable.”

Behind him, she was quiet. Her fingers drummed at his waist in even timing.

“Nothin’ for it, I guess. I should send word to the lads when we get back to the city. We’ll need the help.”

“Do you want so eagerly to fight Nidhogg, as Estinien does?” He half turned to her, keeping an eye on the road.

She leaned; half over him, half around him. “No, I don’t _want_ to fight him. I- I’m on your side here. I’m just tryin’ to be practical, Alphinaud.”

“Of course. Of course, my apologies.” He flushed, mostly from embarrassment at his half-baked accusation, though some part of it came from their proximity. “If you don’t mind my asking… how was Ysayle?”

“She was… what’s the word-” She clicked her tongue. “You’ve got a good word. Worse than upset.”

“Distraught?”

“Yes. Distraught. There wasn’t much all I could say to her. Not really good at that stuff.”

“I beg to differ. Your words have worked wonders for me on many occasions. Do not sell yourself short, my friend.”

“Heh, alright.” Chiquitin brought them around a small clearing, leaping happily in a way that made his stomach lurch. “I just… I said we’d do everything we could to try and… minimize the bloodshed. Sounds hollow coming out of my mouth, don’t it?”

“Not to my mind, but I can see where you are speaking from…” Yanisleidy’s role in this was one of violence, no one could argue against that. Violence toward a good cause, with restraint at every possible step, but it did not change that she dealt in death.

He turned to her again. “You may not think it so, but I’m certain your words must have helped her at least some amount.”

“Thanks, Alphinaud.”

\---

Estinien shot them a searing look as they trotted back into Tailfeather, and Yanisleidy waved emphatically to him.

“Chiquitin wanted to try out his new saddle. He’ll be raring to go at first light tomorrow, promise.”

The chocobo let out a pleased kweh and Estinien simply shook his head as they passed, a smirk on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience! This chapter and the next few have been harder for me to write, so it's taken me a minute! We got some rough times ahead of us, so I figured some sweeter content was in order. :^)
> 
> Please let me know what you think and if you'd like, I did finally write a first meeting for these two that you can find [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27187387)

**Author's Note:**

> My XIV twitter is [here!](https://twitter.com/YanRoselleXIV?s=09) I post screencaps and memes i make there (but beware ShB spoilers!)
> 
> If you enjoy my fic, and enjoy Boku no Hero Academia, please consider reading my beta's fic: [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22473601) (CW/TW for suicide in link)


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